I Hate My Job

I know, I should be grateful that I have a job ... blah-blah-blah. Here's the deal. Believe it or not, you can be grateful that you have a steady income and still HATE the manner in which you earn that income.

Two feelings at the same time. Go figure.

I have been working for the same company for 5 years. I took the job - a position not in my degree field, below my skill level, and with a salary about 20% lower than what it should be - when husband and I were still together. With his career being in the forefront, and requiring a long commute and long hours, taking this position was the best decision for the family.

When husband and I separated in 2009, I stayed at the job because it allowed me the flexibility and proximity I needed to deal with Cam's educational needs. My plan was to trudge through the daily grind until Cam finished high school and flexibility and proximity no longer needed to be my focus.

I don't think I can do it ...

I was AMAZED by the change in my attitude - in my stress level - in my libido - when I was off from work for 11 days over the holidays.

I woke up in the morning refreshed.

I had energy throughout the day.

I wanted to have sex (Yes, Mike did enjoy my vacation. Why do you ask?)

I wasn't concerned about how, or even if, my job got done while I was out, and being an accountant, I was missing not only month end, but year end (a BIG deal).

I didn't miss any of my co-workers.

I felt no longing to return to work to feel productive, because I don't feel productive in my job.

When I went back to work on the 2nd, I decided I was going to go in with a new attitude. I actually want to get some satisfaction from my work. I want to be excited about it. I figured a change in attitude could result in feeling good about where I spend the majority of my waking hours.

Within 30-minutes of returning to work, a co-worker decided to clip his fingernails at his desk. Another was chit-chatting in her cubicle - volume turned to 11. And yet another walked into the building, about 10 feet ahead of me, turned around to see me there, and then let the door slam in my face.

Attitude fucked.

Here it is, Friday morning, and I need another 11-day vacation. My stress level has skyrocketed. I'm not sleeping well. I'm tired throughout most of the day. I don't smile.

There is no accountability for work product. Reviews are based on subjective data (my phone calls with the school - about 3/week - are an issue, but co-worker Norm talking to his wife a minimum of SIX times a day is not an issue) and no employee input is allowed.

Communication is non-existent. This is a large, international, family owned business. Family makes the decisions and family decides if they want to communicate decisions/expectations to employees. They seldom do.

I have nothing in common with my co-workers and have ZERO personal relationships with any of them. In the 5 years I've been here, I have done something with a co-worker outside of work ONE time.

There is no opportunity for advancement and EVERYONE gets a raise annually, no matter what their value to the company is (or isn't).

Flexibility and proximity are no longer enough for me to trudge through the daily grind, and I would need to have my salary doubled for this job to pay enough for me to put up with the bullshit.

I cannot do another 18 months here. In fact, I'll be lucky to get through 18 more days without a temper tantrum.

It's time to look for something else.

What things are important to you in a job? What things are deal-breakers?