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I never told Cam where we were going, but it became fairly clear - rather quickly - that we were not headed home. Cam asked, as we turned left instead of right, "Where are you taking me? To the police station? Because Thing #2 ran in the house to get a muffin?"
I explained to him that we were not going to the police station because of a muffin, but because in addition to him giving Thing #2 permission to go into our house after I made it clear he was not allowed, the police wanted to question him (Cam) regarding crimes that were occurring in town. I explained that Thing #2 was a suspect in these crimes and now, he was too. We followed SGT Jones to the holding/questioning area - a room about 20' x 20' with a single desk, three chairs, gray cinder block walls and a minimum security cell just like the one pictured.
SGT Jones began questioning Cam - about his association with Thing #2, about the mischievous crimes going on about town, about his whereabouts at certain times and on certain days. He asked Cam if he had ever used drugs (yes, he had - pot - but of course only once). He asked Cam if he knew anything about the crimes. Had he seen anything. Had he heard anything about what was going on (Cam denied knowledge of either). He asked about the break-in into Thing #2's house (Cam gave details). About 1-1/2 hours into the questioning, SGT Jones asked if Cam had a cell phone (yes) and asked me if he could see the cell phone (yes).
It was at this very moment that I realized just how little I knew about Cam's cell phone usage. I had no idea who was in his contact list (all three of the Things involved). I had no idea who and what he had been texting. I had no idea what SGT Jones might find on that phone. There were many text conversations between Cam and Things #2 and #3 (the 18 yo's). Nothing obviously incriminating, but certainly things that raised flags. SGT Jones decided to keep the phone for evidence/investigation.
Throughout most of the questioning Cam was clearly upset. SGT Jones shared with Cam that he was being used as a tool. That his 18 yo "friends," Things #2 and #3, would throw him under a bus should they get backed into a corner. SGT Jones was very firm with Cam - clear the air now - share all that you know (good or bad) - because if I find out later there will be legal consequences.
SGT Jones left Cam and I alone for a few minutes so that I could reinforce - mother to son - how important it was for Cam to be honest. We talked - we cried - Cam was scared - I was scared.
SGT Jones didn't realize that he was fighting not one, but two fairly strong forces. In addition to Cam's "loyalty" to Things #2 and #3, Cam was fearful of what husband's reaction would be once he got home. There was yet another defining moment when SGT Jones came back into the room. Cam looked at SGT Jones, looked at me, then cried, "He's (husband) going to kill me. I'd rather go to juvy than go home."
I looked at SGT Jones and said, "He's afraid of what the physical punishment will be when we get home - and he has reason to be concerned."
It was my personal integrity on the line. It was time for me to come clean.
I never told Cam where we were going, but it became fairly clear - rather quickly - that we were not headed home. Cam asked, as we turned left instead of right, "Where are you taking me? To the police station? Because Thing #2 ran in the house to get a muffin?"I explained to him that we were not going to the police station because of a muffin, but because in addition to him giving Thing #2 permission to go into our house after I made it clear he was not allowed, the police wanted to question him (Cam) regarding crimes that were occurring in town. I explained that Thing #2 was a suspect in these crimes and now, he was too. We followed SGT Jones to the holding/questioning area - a room about 20' x 20' with a single desk, three chairs, gray cinder block walls and a minimum security cell just like the one pictured.
SGT Jones began questioning Cam - about his association with Thing #2, about the mischievous crimes going on about town, about his whereabouts at certain times and on certain days. He asked Cam if he had ever used drugs (yes, he had - pot - but of course only once). He asked Cam if he knew anything about the crimes. Had he seen anything. Had he heard anything about what was going on (Cam denied knowledge of either). He asked about the break-in into Thing #2's house (Cam gave details). About 1-1/2 hours into the questioning, SGT Jones asked if Cam had a cell phone (yes) and asked me if he could see the cell phone (yes).
It was at this very moment that I realized just how little I knew about Cam's cell phone usage. I had no idea who was in his contact list (all three of the Things involved). I had no idea who and what he had been texting. I had no idea what SGT Jones might find on that phone. There were many text conversations between Cam and Things #2 and #3 (the 18 yo's). Nothing obviously incriminating, but certainly things that raised flags. SGT Jones decided to keep the phone for evidence/investigation.
Throughout most of the questioning Cam was clearly upset. SGT Jones shared with Cam that he was being used as a tool. That his 18 yo "friends," Things #2 and #3, would throw him under a bus should they get backed into a corner. SGT Jones was very firm with Cam - clear the air now - share all that you know (good or bad) - because if I find out later there will be legal consequences.
SGT Jones left Cam and I alone for a few minutes so that I could reinforce - mother to son - how important it was for Cam to be honest. We talked - we cried - Cam was scared - I was scared.
SGT Jones didn't realize that he was fighting not one, but two fairly strong forces. In addition to Cam's "loyalty" to Things #2 and #3, Cam was fearful of what husband's reaction would be once he got home. There was yet another defining moment when SGT Jones came back into the room. Cam looked at SGT Jones, looked at me, then cried, "He's (husband) going to kill me. I'd rather go to juvy than go home."
I looked at SGT Jones and said, "He's afraid of what the physical punishment will be when we get home - and he has reason to be concerned."
It was my personal integrity on the line. It was time for me to come clean.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
26 comments:
You are clearly going down the most difficult, most trying, most correct path. These are the defining moments of the next phase of Cam's, and your, life. Stay strong, keep your eye on the goal.
Any possibility SGT Jones might be available to assist in breaking the news to husband?
Sending you virtual hugs & all the kind thoughts I can muster today. Hang in there.
Wow, you got drama!
I put my mom through this at the same age. I was headed in a very bad direction with lots of my peers going bad and a scene very similar to what you describe turned took me off that road. I still wasn't a really "good" boy but it drew lines for me that I never crossed.
I know this is going to sound INSANE, but isn't there a way to keep the info from Husband. If he is not Cam's legal parent or guardian, he has no legal right to know what is going on. Stg Jones should be able to discrete. And while lying to your husband by omission may sound wrong, it may be the best thing to protect your son. Probably too late for that thought anyway.
You have been through so much!
It's clear Cam needs a father figure. And you both need a vacation from the Hell you are going through.
Oh boy.... You're on the radar screen now. What a horrible experience..
I'm stil waiting for the part that makes me feel foolish but this is really dragging out the drama..have a good weekend!
My prayers are with you...This is a tough trial for you to face....
Man. I hardly know what to say.
Positive thoughts coming your way. I have to agree with Brian. He said it best.
Scary indeed. Things have a way of snowballing. You may want to retain legal counsel for Cam. The cops have a way of throwing people under the bus too to save face and clear cases.
Brian, it has been a difficult path but for some reason my determination is strong. I *know* what must be done and I *know* that it is my responsibility to do it.
Micky-T, yeah ... and all in the span of about 48 hours. It was rough.
Karen, not insane - it's what I had been doing in the past - but it was starting to make *me* insane. I really don't do well with that kind of life. It was time to face EVERYTHING head on - the issues with Cam - the issues with husband.
we're doomed, he does - we do - and I am exploring some options.
buffalodick, I think we might just be brightest blip on the radar now, but honestly? I'm OK with that.
snugs, I think I misspoke - I'm not sure you have the capacity to feel foolish - that would require a big serving of humble pie and you refuse to eat that treat.
Feel free to stop reading at any time 'cause it sounds like I'm wasting your time.
OH Dana.... :( My heart just goes out to you.
Joker_SATX, it is, but I've been watching it do amazing things.
Marsha, I think what really hit me through all of this is just how close to our own lives "those" people are. We had become *those* people.
Real Live Lesbian, many of you have been a huge support through this!
Lu', that has been recommended by a few people and it may need to be done.
Vixen, you know what though? This will be OK because this time I'm doing the right things - the things I should have been doing all along - the things that could have prevented much of this drama.
At least you are willing to share with the world what has happened...so we can learn. I hope everything turns out well for both of you 5, 10 years down the road.
I really am at a loss for words. I can not even imagine all of this happening, and just a span of a couple days. Know u and Cam are in my thoughts.
I really feel for you. This is so scary and sad. As a mom to an almost 12 yr old boy, this information is SO important for me to hear and be aware of.
My heart is so heavy. I cannot imagine.
I have a feeling that this situation is going to be life changing for both Cam, and you.
It sounds like you are ready to deal with your husband.
You,and Cam are in my thoughts.
Em
OK. I'm out of time. But I'm coming back to read this from start to finish.
I just caught up with he last two days...
Dana...Whether you know it or not, you are one of the strongest women I know.
Dana,
Be sure your extended family (parents, etc.) who support you are in the loop on this. You DON'T want to go through this alone, especially since your husband clearly is not part of that support system. The advice about legal advice is sound as well. The reality is that Cam is at more risk from the justice system than he would be if he were of a different racial makeup. This is not to say that law enforcement is "the enemy" by any means, but the combined sensibilities of judges, prosecutors, juries and media can snowball in a harmful way. Just sayin. Good luck.
I so admire you, Dana. You have done an incredibly difficult thing that not a lot of parents would do.
I'm storing this up should either one of my children ever get involved in dangerous activities.
Holy crap. I can't believe Cam said that. Now it seems he's taking you down with him to deflect what he's done?
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