When I hear a story about yet another mother who kills her child and then herself, I don't think "How could anyone possibly do that?" No ... instead I remember what it was like to think that might be my best option.
Although I don't have any kids of my own, I am sure that there are times when it becomes so overwhelming for a mother to handle a baby and then all of the mothering duties that follow. There are the things like postpartum depression and other things that can make one feel that way.
I am not going to sit and judge you for such a statement. I certainly have thoughts of suicide (coming from a family history of depression and suicide attempts) in my earlier years but I don't think I have ever thought about taking anyone else down with me.
Deep secret Dana. You have the guts to admit a secret that no-one else will, although they probably have thought of doing too.
I've thought of how much easier my life would currently be if I'd gone ahead with the abortion without telling my husband like I'd intended to do. I knew that we were far from ready to have a child.
I can't even begin to explain the ways that my son has changed my life for the better and for the worse both. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be a single mom.
You're a very strong woman, Dana. You've been through things that most others would have never survived.
no no no and no. It is never an acceptable option comes to mind but then I guess for me it is only an accwptable option in the face of terminal illness but not for a poor living condition. You are better than that and the fact you are still here as is Cam proves that.
Huge difference, IMO, between thinking about something and doing it. In our deepest heart of hearts, I imagine every one of us has thought about something we'd never dare speak aloud to anyone else. We probably don't even like to hold it up to the light and examine it. We just bat it away. It is what it is -- it's our ABILITY to conjure such mental scenarios. The reason such crimes are so horrific is that we know we have had the thoughts and still summoned the strength and will NOT to act upon them. The person who gives in to the dark impulse makes us shudder, to think that could be ourselves.
As you well know, there have been times where I've been pushed to my limits, and it really shows how strong of a person you can be when your back is against the wall, and you're still willing to push back against the things that are attacking you.
~*~*~*~*~
13 comments:
Although I don't have any kids of my own, I am sure that there are times when it becomes so overwhelming for a mother to handle a baby and then all of the mothering duties that follow. There are the things like postpartum depression and other things that can make one feel that way.
I am not going to sit and judge you for such a statement. I certainly have thoughts of suicide (coming from a family history of depression and suicide attempts) in my earlier years but I don't think I have ever thought about taking anyone else down with me.
Deep secret Dana. You have the guts to admit a secret that no-one else will, although they probably have thought of doing too.
Wow. I tend lack compassion for women who do this and think they are weak, but your secrets make often make me examine my outlook on things.
I was very critical and damning of moms who "snap". Before I had kids. Now I have more compassion and empathy for them.
I've thought of how much easier my life would currently be if I'd gone ahead with the abortion without telling my husband like I'd intended to do. I knew that we were far from ready to have a child.
I can't even begin to explain the ways that my son has changed my life for the better and for the worse both. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be a single mom.
You're a very strong woman, Dana. You've been through things that most others would have never survived.
no no no and no. It is never an acceptable option comes to mind but then I guess for me it is only an accwptable option in the face of terminal illness but not for a poor living condition. You are better than that and the fact you are still here as is Cam proves that.
If it's the worst day of your life, hang on! The next day will be better. I'm glad you picked the "right" best option.
I always try to not judge. You just never know what another soul is going through. I'm so glad that you're here with us.
Huge difference, IMO, between thinking about something and doing it. In our deepest heart of hearts, I imagine every one of us has thought about something we'd never dare speak aloud to anyone else. We probably don't even like to hold it up to the light and examine it. We just bat it away. It is what it is -- it's our ABILITY to conjure such mental scenarios. The reason such crimes are so horrific is that we know we have had the thoughts and still summoned the strength and will NOT to act upon them. The person who gives in to the dark impulse makes us shudder, to think that could be ourselves.
I must admit, that I have often wondered what it would take for someone to get to that point where they feel that is their best and only option.
While I cannot fathom it myself, I am always saddened when someone feels it is the only way out.
Having had depression and postpartum depression I know this feeling. I hate to admit it. I admire your courage to say it "out loud."
...and don't think that this is an emotion that is just exclusive to women!
I just spent the last half hour or so catching up on your trials and tribulations with Cam...
Late to the party, just let me say I am so proud of the way you handled the entire situation...
HUGS to you both
I tend to agree with Joker on this one Dana...
As you well know, there have been times where I've been pushed to my limits, and it really shows how strong of a person you can be when your back is against the wall, and you're still willing to push back against the things that are attacking you.
I'm still a fan!
Would you be my hero?
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