~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"He's afraid of what the physical punishment will be when we get home - and he has reason to be concerned."SGT Jones did a double-take when I said that, followed by one of those extremely uncomfortable, elongated pauses. He asked if he could talk to me - alone. We left Cam in the interrogation area and went to the lunch room.
SGT Jones asked me if there was abuse going on in the house. Yes - sporadic physical abuse directed toward both Cam and I in the past, emotional and verbal abuse occurring occasionally now. When was the last instance of physical abuse? For Cam? About 18 months ago. About 12 months ago for me. SGT Jones told me he had some information he'd give to me before I left - resources that I might need.
Although it seemed to last forever, it was a relatively short conversation. It was also the first time I had been honest with a complete stranger regarding the chaos behind the walls of what appears to be such a lovely home ... and I picked a police officer. SGT Jones was not sympathetic, instead I could sense from him his disgust for my past inaction. What he couldn't know was that my own disgust with my past inaction was far greater than his ever could be.
We walked back into the interrogation area and sat down. SGT Jones explained to Cam that he understood that it had been a difficult year at home - one that was full of fear at times - that he could understand why Cam might not be telling the entire truth, but that it was critical that he do so.
I looked at Cam, touched his knee and through emotional tears said, "I know that I have failed you in the past - that I have not kept you safe when that should have been my only priority - but you have my word that I will NEVER allow that to happen again. Whatever you say here will stay here. If there is any indication that you are not safe at home, you and I will leave immediately."
You know, there was really no reason for Cam to believe me. I let him down once, he has no reason to believe anything will be any different in the future, yet he seemed surprised at my honesty with SGT Jones, and my commitment to him (Cam) with SGT Jones present.
SGT Jones went through the questions again. Cam answered in the same manner he had previously. It appeared that although Cam was definitely a part of the home break-in (a crime that was never reported, therefor Cam could not be charged) he really didn't know anything regarding the "mischievous" crimes going on in town, nor did he have any idea how he was being used by these two 18 year old "friends."
SGT Jones asked me if I minded if he spoke with Cam alone. I'll admit to being a bit apprehensive, but I knew that nothing said during that time could be used against Cam. I allowed it and left the area.
About 5 minutes later, SGT Jones called me back. He gave me an envelope with information on domestic violence and resources in our area. He had me sign a document allowing him to keep Cam's phone for investigative purposes. He explained to both Cam and I that he was initiating an "informal" no contact order between Cam and Thing #2 (18 year old) and that any contact between the two of them could result in legal actions, sending Thing #2 to jail, then he walked us to the door.
It was a relatively quiet afternoon. I did call husband to tell him - briefly - what had happened. I explained that I expected he would NOT bring this up with Cam - that I had handled the situation and would continue to handle it. He was receptive - maybe even relieved - to hear of my actions and expectations.
The next 24 hours would be filled with worry. What would SGT Jones find on Cam's phone? How was I going to insure that Cam had no contact with Things #2 and #3? Was I going to find myself smack dab in the middle of the criminal justice system with Cam at my side? Would Cam run away? Would husband respect my boundaries?
It was only Tuesday night, but it had been one of the longest 48 hour periods of my life.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
16 comments:
It sounds like you're on the right track. Here's hoping for smooth sailing.
While a very hard meeting for you and Cam in the obvious ways, it sounds like a very important one for you both in other ways. Hope things continue on the track they are on!
This is wayyy more interesting than an issue of "True Detective". Cheers!!
My heart goes out to you and Cam. Please stay safe!
I am proud of you for making the commitment to Cam to keep him safe. I imagine that is going to be one of the defining moments in his life. You have REALLY be through a lot, but you are doing all that you can for your son.
The hardest part of this is understanding where you let Cam down in the past, but by admitting all of this to a third party and making a commitment to your son, now you can move on with your life.
Real Live Lesbian, only time will tell if it's the right track, but at the very least it's a track not yet traveled.
Emmy, I think that there was great value in Cam seeing me "confess" to SGT Jones my own inadequacies and mistakes.
Matt-Man, I hope that is a good thing ...
better late than never, I think, for the first time in a long time, we *are* safe, not because the environment has changed (although it has changed some) but because my resolve to do whatever it takes to keep us safe finally kicked in.
Karen, I think it was important that he see that I was leading by example - admitting to what I had done wrong - just as I was asking him to do.
Evil Twin's Wife, I've been told by some that I am too hard on myself for NOT reporting the final (and obvious) instance abuse against Cam at husband's hands, and others think I couldn't possibly be hard enough on myself for what I allowed (if only once). I tend to identify with the latter group more as a way to insure I NEVER allow it again.
Dana: While I can appreciate the fact that it takes much more courage to be open and honest with a stranger, it takes even more to be open and honest with a stranger face-to-face.
Yes, you've been talking to all of us about some of the trials and tribulations you've gone through, but to finally be able to face someone, especially someone in law enforcement, and tell them the ugly truth really takes courage.
I sincerely hope that things will settle in your home, and that you'll finally be able to mend some of the fences that have been torn down so ruthlessly.
I concur with Jormengrund - takes guts to admit it in real life.
My heart just totally goes out to you.....
It sounds like you have a done a great job handling a difficult situation.
I'm still here. Just don't have anything clever or brilliant to add. ;-)
Jormengrund, there is a HUGE difference between being honest on the blog, and being honest with law enforcement in my community, and it was a difficult thing to do.
Nolens Volens, as honest as I've been on the blog, I still have a "buffer" here. I've now stripped that buffer.
Vixen, it needed to be done - and it needed to be done in front of Cam.
I think you're doing the right thing...even if the road you take seems scary.
This had to take a year off your life..
Post a Comment