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"I'm heading home real quick and then going back to Thing #2's (18 yo) house"
I got that text at 11:37AM. My initial thought was, "Thank goodness he's letting me know where he is going." My second thought was, "I bet he thinks there is no way I'll be home again since I was just home an hour ago." I went with my second thought.
My supervisor - who has three young boys of his own - has been extremely supportive through this time. I went into his office Monday and gave him the basics of the story. I let him know that I might need to take off with little more than a "I've got to go" as I headed out the door. He also worked with me to alter my work hours when school started, keeping Cam's time home alone to a minimum. I gave him a quick, "I've got to go!" as I ran out the door.
Our house is on a corner lot making it quite easy to pull up a block over, get a full view of the house and never be seen, and that's exactly what I did. I saw Cam, and who I thought was Thing #1 (13 yo) sitting on the front stoop, the garage door wide open. I needed to make good on my threats or I was going to dig myself a deeper hole, so I called the police department and asked them to dispatch SGT Jones to my house.
As I waited for SGT Jones to arrive, the boys closed the garage door and headed down the street on their bikes. SGT Jones arrived about 30 seconds after they left. I gave him a description of what the boys were wearing and told him it was likely they were headed back to Thing #2's (18 yo) house. He took off down the road and I went inside waiting for SGT Jones to call.
Not a minute later I got a phone call from Cam on his cell. In a disgusted tone of voice he asked, "Really mom? You called the police because Thing #2 went in the house to get a muffin?"
I responded, "I'll be right there," and hung up the phone.
Thing #2? It was the 18 yo that was at my house? Now I knew there was going to be trouble. Thing #2 is on probation and any violation of that probation results in automatic jail time.
Cam called me two more times during the 3 minute drive. I let both calls go to voice mail. I pulled up to Thing #2's house where SGT Jones was speaking to him by the squad car and Cam was sitting on the front porch.
SGT Jones walked up to my car and asked me what I wanted to do. Cam had told Thing #2 that he (Cam) had talked to me and I said it was OK for Thing #2 to run into the house real quick. When I asked SGT Jones what would happen if I pressed trespassing charges, he told me Thing #2 would be arrested, would need to post $100 bail to get out of jail, a court date would be set, but that it was probable that the charges would be dropped since Cam gave "permission" to Thing #2 to go into the house. This was the first of many legal lessons I would learn this day.
I loaded Cam's bike into the back of my car, SGT Jones had some final words with Thing #2, and Cam and I headed to the police station with SGT Jones right behind us.
We'd spend the next 3 hours and 17 minutes there.
"I'm heading home real quick and then going back to Thing #2's (18 yo) house"I got that text at 11:37AM. My initial thought was, "Thank goodness he's letting me know where he is going." My second thought was, "I bet he thinks there is no way I'll be home again since I was just home an hour ago." I went with my second thought.
My supervisor - who has three young boys of his own - has been extremely supportive through this time. I went into his office Monday and gave him the basics of the story. I let him know that I might need to take off with little more than a "I've got to go" as I headed out the door. He also worked with me to alter my work hours when school started, keeping Cam's time home alone to a minimum. I gave him a quick, "I've got to go!" as I ran out the door.
Our house is on a corner lot making it quite easy to pull up a block over, get a full view of the house and never be seen, and that's exactly what I did. I saw Cam, and who I thought was Thing #1 (13 yo) sitting on the front stoop, the garage door wide open. I needed to make good on my threats or I was going to dig myself a deeper hole, so I called the police department and asked them to dispatch SGT Jones to my house.
As I waited for SGT Jones to arrive, the boys closed the garage door and headed down the street on their bikes. SGT Jones arrived about 30 seconds after they left. I gave him a description of what the boys were wearing and told him it was likely they were headed back to Thing #2's (18 yo) house. He took off down the road and I went inside waiting for SGT Jones to call.
Not a minute later I got a phone call from Cam on his cell. In a disgusted tone of voice he asked, "Really mom? You called the police because Thing #2 went in the house to get a muffin?"
I responded, "I'll be right there," and hung up the phone.
Thing #2? It was the 18 yo that was at my house? Now I knew there was going to be trouble. Thing #2 is on probation and any violation of that probation results in automatic jail time.
Cam called me two more times during the 3 minute drive. I let both calls go to voice mail. I pulled up to Thing #2's house where SGT Jones was speaking to him by the squad car and Cam was sitting on the front porch.
SGT Jones walked up to my car and asked me what I wanted to do. Cam had told Thing #2 that he (Cam) had talked to me and I said it was OK for Thing #2 to run into the house real quick. When I asked SGT Jones what would happen if I pressed trespassing charges, he told me Thing #2 would be arrested, would need to post $100 bail to get out of jail, a court date would be set, but that it was probable that the charges would be dropped since Cam gave "permission" to Thing #2 to go into the house. This was the first of many legal lessons I would learn this day.
I loaded Cam's bike into the back of my car, SGT Jones had some final words with Thing #2, and Cam and I headed to the police station with SGT Jones right behind us.
We'd spend the next 3 hours and 17 minutes there.
23 comments:
Just be careful about Thing 2. Always keep in mind that revenge may not be too far off the mark. If you are going to have thing 2 put away, make sure that it is for a decent amount of time and make sure that it can stick.
I know just from what my SIL has gone through with my nephew that at this stage in the game, there isn't as much the law can do as we like to think. And then one day a judge decides without talking to her that he is fine and life is normal. It's difficult.
My heart really goes out to you. I have to say though that the legal system doesn't work nearly the way one would think. Thing whichever bad number he is would be back in your house by tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.
I wish I knew the answers for you.
I think standing your ground and following through on your threats may really suck in the short term, kinda suck in the medium term but be the right thing in the long run.
I hope everything works out because I have agreed with you every step of the way.
I don't want this to come across wrong so I am trying to word it as nicely as possible.
I would have great concern if my 13 yr old was running around with 18 yr olds, especially 18 yr olds on probation.
btw, how many parts to this are there?
Joker_SATX, I'm actually more than a little concerned about the revenge aspect and agree that I need to make sure I don't do a "The sky is falling" move here.
dsmcaron, one of the major challenges in all of this is attempting to keep the 18 yo's away from Cam. It can only be done, legally, AFTER a crime has been committed. Very frustrating.
Marsha, no ... the legal system does not work the way one would think. Innocent until proven guilty is a great concept, but at times it can be self-defeating.
Did I miss something....
Cam and #1 sitting on stoop...
#2 18 and on probation IN THE HOUSE ALONE?????
Professor Fate, I knew the minute I made the threat that I had better be willing to make good on it as it was likely I'd be tested. Not knowing what the future holds, I'd say although a SUCKY decision, it was the right decision.
snugs, you might remember that I was under the impression that the 18 yo was 16 (still a concern, but not quite as significant) until just 2 hours before he and Cam showed up at my house. I was (and am) extremely concerned.
And there are as many parts to this as it takes to write it. I can't answer that as I didn't write the entire story, then divide it up into parts, but rather am writing it out on a daily basis.
Micky-T, I *thought* it was Thing #1 (13) on the stoop with Cam. It wasn't until the police went to Thing #2's house, and I got the call from Cam, that I realized it was Thing #2 (18 - probation boy) on the stoop and that I saw "running in to the house real quick to get a muffin"
I would worry about the revenge issue as well. Spite in a troubled teen can never be good.
I'm glad you stood your ground. Good for you.
This is getting more interesting by the moment.
So when are we going to be able to read about how disappointed and disillusioned you now are over our legal and justice system?
Just curious..
All I can say is Wow. Cam sure hit puberty fast and hard. They usually don't act like that until they are 14 or 15.
Great job with this story so far.
why aren't these kids in school ?
Sighs. Samsamiam said exactly what I was thinking while reading Part IV...school. Maybe if you let the school administration that Cam is not to be allowed off the campus unless school is out for the day...?
I'm not a Mother so I can only say from a purely looking in point of view but I'm thinking over reaction, but BRAVA for any reaction in this day and age of "whatever..."
We used to get out of school at 2pm. Lots of trouble can happen before the parents get home.
Vixen, revenge is a concern and something I am keeping a close eye on.
Jormengrund, it's not so much the justice system, but the lack of an ability to protect a minor from clearly negatively influential "adult" influences.
Bina, he did go all out on this one. Maybe in a backward sense this was a good thing?
samsamiam, we didn't start school here until just this Monday (August 31st). This all took place the week prior - the last week of summer break. And the two 18 yo's involved? Neither of them are in school.
Nolens Volens, he is NOT allowed off the school grounds during the school year, but this was prior to school starting.
Lu', maybe I did overreact Lu, but at this point I think under-reacting may have resulted in more dire consequences.
Real Live Lesbian, see what happens when I don't get to my comments right away? In this case, they were still on summer break. Cam's schedule now really limits his "free" time.
I don't have anything to really add here. I'm just following along to see what happens next.
Uh, that should have said anything USEFUL to add. ;-)
It is always best to act, rather than react... Right or wrong, you have more control of a situation.
Girl, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I'll probably be in the same spot in the not so distant future, judging by my son's recent choices in friends.
That being said, I have a little advice. You really have to be careful how much you go running to the police unless it's something big. It can backfire BIG TIME. I've seen what can happen hundreds of times when cops get a kid on their radar.
Sadly, you can't really scare the bad influences off with the police intervention, and eventually your kid just becomes another one of the bad kids in the minds of the police. Just be careful how often you go that route, because you don't want Cam being picked up every time he walks down the street.
We've been there and done that with both of my nephews, and eventually, they end up with the "I can't win, so screw it" attitude. It's incredibly scary if it comes to that.
Oh, and a little "Psycho Mama" eventually went a long way with the scumbags my nephews were hanging out with. My sister scared those kids way more than the cops ever did. Hang in there!!
This is very interesting stuff.
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