I am fairly certain my step-daughter is struggling with the beginings of an eating disorder and I don't know how to help her - I've been struggling with my own for over 30 years. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I don't usually follow up my Sunday Secrets with a post, but since this one is a significant health issue, I wanted to say a couple of things.
I don't usually follow up my Sunday Secrets with a post, but since this one is a significant health issue, I wanted to say a couple of things.
First, I don't want anyone to worry - I am addressing this issue with professional help this time. I've battled it on my own for 30+ years and have not been successful in managing it. Recently, the reality of how it is negatively impacting my health became clear. Bulimia (as are other addictions) has become a trusted friend, and it is difficult for me to consider giving up the friendship. As odd as it might sound, I feel a great deal of comfort and control when I am with my eating disorder. The bottom line? I'd rather be dead than fat again, and that thinking must stop.
Second, I am posting this secret today because I know there are others out there who share my secret, or know someone who does. Eating disorders are usually thought to be a young woman's issue, but eating disorders have no gender, age or race boundaries. If you suspect someone has an eating disorder, please talk to them about it.
21 comments:
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DB, it was an eye opener this time - still a struggle, but a struggle with a plan.
Hey Dana...ummmm...KNOCK IT OFF!!!
k? Seriously, tho' kiddo...I hate to think you got past the weight, and I know you didn't lose it by purging, it doesn't work like that, and you're still stuck with this. Bulimia is gonna take a far worse toll on you than the fat ever would have. But you know all that. You've been doing this for 30 years. You have a plan....
I sure hope so. I'm not real keen on posting about your tragic death from cardiac arrest brought on by the strain of chronic vomiting.
OK...nuff said...you got it.
Take Care
FMD
It's a good thing that she has you in her life! Hopefully you can help her put an end to this before it really becomes a problem.
I also hope that you deal with your issue as well. It's one of the most difficult addictions there is, and we certainly don't want to see any harm come to you, Dana.
I don't know what to say other than that I agree that bulimia is serious stuff and should be dealt with.
well I know this is nt a funny but I always said I'd rather be fat than hungry, hence my belt line.
I think I have an eating disorder on the other end of the spectrum.
Good luck on getting past yours and good luck to your step daughter also.
I have many disorders but none involving eating.
To be cliche, at least you recognized your challenges long ago, and that is the most important step.
Your daughter is lucky to have your experience near should her disorder be realized. Hang in there Dana.
Cheers!!
how beneficial that your step-daughter can learn from you; and maybe as you help her to work through her issues and away from bulimia, you can too. good luck, dana!
Some secret to reveal today...
I'm sorry to hear it. I sure hope you can find a way to overcome your own problems as well as help your step-daughter.
Maybe you could get help together... fighting bulemia is not something you can do on your own (if you've battled against that for 30 years, you would know so, right?)
Knowing it is better than denying it- that's a good step...
"I'd rather be dead than fat again"
Wow Dana, that is an incredibly strong statement. I don't doubt the emotion there either, I have battled eating issues ever since I used to sneak food into my room as a child and just eat and eat as chaos and violence ruled around me.
As always I admire your honesty.
FMD, you are right - I actually took the weight off exactly as I should have - by eating better and exercising regularly. I know that being healthy, and staying healthy, is within my grasp this time.
Corky, I never thought anything good could come from *my* secret, but I can see that this could be a good thing for both of us.
Doc, it is, and it is!
SS, thank you - we will get through this!
Matt-Man, don't we all?! When "active" this has always been an extremely shameful thing in my life and something I have never shared with anyone. This time is different.
Heidianne, at the very least she'll know that she's got someone who understands as an ally.
R.E.H., any time a person has to hide a behavior, they realize how serious it is. I let myself believe that this was something I was in control of and only recently acknowledged how out of control I really am.
Buff, I've always known, but convinced myself that I could handle it on my own. I'm tired of lying to myself.
Diane, all of the emotions involved with eating disorders are strong ones, making the war all that more difficult.
I have an employee with an eating disorder. It makes her semi-unreliable which is standing in the way of her promotion cause she is in the emergency room about every 5 weeks. She just chooses not to eat, so she won't gain weight. She is a gorgeous girl, that weighs about 98 pounds and doesn't want to be fat. Her hair is also really thin, like I can see her scalp where I shouldn't and I have to think that is because of malnutrition. She is obviously addressing these issues with doctors, but that isn't helping and I, as much as I can and still not cross the boss/employee role "ask how she is feeling" and she knows that means "HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING?"
We are at least at the point where I can offer her apples and pears and she will take them.
Dana thank you for sharing this and more importantly doing the follow-up...
Now, take care of you, please.
Birdman, it's such an illogical struggle. In my case, I know there is a problem, I know what I'm doing is dangerous and unhealthy, yet the idea of NOT doing it terrifies me. I'm a well-educated, generally logical person ... until food is involved. It makes no sense, especially to me.
P, I am working on taking care of me - I promise!
I wish you success with your stuggle and hope you can use your knowledge to help others.
Although I do not have an eating disorder, I share your fear of weight gain. All the women in my family of origin (on my mother's side) have weight problems. I inherited my father's metabolism. Still, after years of eating what I want I now find that midlife has slowed things considerably. I carry around an extra 10 pounds that wants desperately to increase into 15 and then 20. It would be so easy. I can't enjoy eating at all because I'm so damned afraid of winding up like my mother and sisters. I wish you luck with your attempts to move into a healthier solution to weight management.
Hammer, thank you!
A, I hope for a day when I can view food as the nurishment it is intended to be - nothing more.
Thanks for the links, Dana. I’ve bookmarked them for follow-up. I’m concerned about my niece.
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