TMI Tuesday | Fun Fill-ins

1. BOOTY call.

    *I could use one right about now - it's been a while!

2. TALK to me baby.

    *Baby has to be the absolute worst term of endearment

3. SALT and PEPPER.

    *It was the first thing that popped into my head - what can I say?

4. Sex bloggers are A LOT HARDER TO FIND THAN THEY WERE WHEN I STARTED BLOGGING 11 YEARS AGO.

    *Feel free to leave links to any that are worth reading 

5. I really need to GET BACK TO THE GYM.

     *It might help my success with (1)

6. You should be IN MY BED.

     *Yes ... I'm talking about you!

7. I have never been able to KEEP ANYONE INTERESTED IN ME long enough.

     *After about 2 years, I become far more work than I'm worth

8. Do you wanna GET NAKED?

     *I mean, if you're in my bed you should probably be naked, right?

9. My FEET get mad at me for NOT GETTING PEDICURES.

     *No one wants mad feet

10. When my alarm clock goes off, I AM STUNNED BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SET AN ALARM SINCE I STARTED WORKING REMOTELY 2 YEARS AGO.

     *I used to wake up before my alarm went off when I actually had to set one

11. I look forward to REMAINING ALIVE this year.

     *Look, when you get as old as I am that is an accomplishment

12. THIS is one of my favorite toys. 

     *What? You thought I was going to share my favorite sex toy? I'll share that if you find yourself naked in my bed 

Sunday Secret

"Why does Cam get everything?"

Those are the words that came out of my step-brother Toby's mouth about 5 minutes into our conversation Thursday night. I was dumbfounded ...

A little background.

After my parents divorced, my dad married Sonja. Sonja had a son from a previous relationship (Toby) who was 5 at the time (there is a 15-year age gap between Toby and me). Although my dad never adopted Toby, Toby's bio-dad was pretty much absent, so my dad really was the only dad Toby ever had, and I've always respected that. 

Fast forward 30+ years - dad is no longer married to Sonja - Toby is estranged from his own mom - Toby and dad have a close relationship and even get together once a week for beer and dinner. Then dad dies.  

Toby was EXTREMELY helpful with all of the business associated with dad's death. He met the coroner at dad's trailer. He stayed in contact with the funeral home. He and his wife made calls to the places dad had accounts to freeze them. He really helped out tremendously while I tried to get to Seattle.

Throughout this process, I have gone out of my way to thank Toby for everything he has done and have continued to ask him if he was okay with doing this stuff (he's local - I gave him power of attorney - logistically it makes sense). He has continued to assure me that all was well - that he was more than happy to help. I've also tried to treat him as part of the family - to recognize his needs/desires in the grieving process over dad.

There are 2 outstanding issues remaining regarding dad's "estate" - a motorhome (which still has an outstanding loan and is in terrible disrepair), and a second checking/savings account (that I just learned about last night).

Currently the motorhome is in storage ($100/month that Toby is paying and that I agreed to reimburse him for). The agreement Toby and I had was that he had a "guy" who used to work for Winnebago. He would have his "guy" inspect the motorhome and give me an estimate on what it would cost to get it in working order. I would decide if it was worth repairing - Toby's "guy" would do the repairs as a side job - I would pay Toby's "guy". That was 2 months ago. No progress has been made. Not even a firm estimate.

Now, I don't mind paying $100/month for storage if there is actually some progress being made. I'm a little irritated with paying $100/month when everyone is sitting around with their thumb up their ass and absolutely nothing is happening. I think that's understandable and reasonable.

Last night I called Toby to see what the status was on the motorhome. The ultimate goal is for me to pay off the motorhome, get it repaired, and gift it to Cam. I've set aside $5K of dad's 401K to do just that. When I asked about the motorhome, Toby LOST.HIS.MIND ... and this is not the first time he's done that to me or to Cam ...

When I asked about the motorhome, he responded in a very derogatory and angry tone with, "Why does Cam get everything?"

I think there was at least 30-seconds of silence while I tried to gather my thoughts and not tell him to "Fuck off and die!".

I responded (eventually) with, "I have no idea where that came from and I'm not quite sure how to respond, but let me try."

I then went on to tell Toby that Cam doesn't get everything (which amounts to little more than a pile of shit anyway), but I do get everything (including dad's debts) along with the power to decide how to distribute it, and if I want Cam to get something that he values from my dad (who never sent a single birthday card or Christmas card to him)? I get to decide that.

And then Toby went on to tell me about a checking/savings account that he has been receiving statements from, but that he didn't bother to tell me existed. 

Let's just say the phone call didn't end well, and it's clear that Cam and I are going to have to make a trip to Seattle within the next week. The plan is to get the motorhome keys from Toby - get the motorhome out of storage - reimburse Toby for any out-of-pocket expenses he has incurred - and severe the ties.

I was hoping to make my family grow - to embrace Toby and his wife and kids as MY family - but? 

Nope! 

I'm not going to voluntarily invite his negativity and nastiness into my life.

It's just not happening ... 

10 Things Thursday

It's been a strange week, so this will likely be a strange post ... 

but maybe that's not so out of sorts for me *gigglesnort*

~*~

1. I got a text from my ex-husband Monday night. He wanted to let me know that he had to have Gizmo (our "family" cat) put down (kidney failure).
   

   

   Gizmo

   It has been years since I've seen Gizmo, but I cried more after his text than I did when I got the phone call that my dad had died, and I feel a wee bit guilty about that.
2. Cam went to Hill Air Force Base this past weekend to visit one of his friends. I'm not going to lie, it was WONDERFUL to have the house to myself for four days. Also? I'm hoping he was inspired - I'd love for him to enlist in the military!
3. I generally don't get trends - I'm not one who usually follows the crowd -and this new Instagram trend of taking floral-backdrop selfies at the craft-store? Really? This is why I don't do trends.
4. Speaking of crafts, I've been feeling really crafty lately. I even dug out my art supplies and did some painting and drawing. I'm thinking I may have to try this Watercolor Rubber Stamp Calligraphy project soon, because ... PRETTY!!
   
   
   
       
5. I found this fabulous Printable Art Collection library at Remodelaholic that has given me tons of inspiration as well. I don't know that I would actually print them out and hang them on my walls as is, but they sure do give me ideas.
6. Lifehacker has been doing a Work From Home series this week. Although some of the articles really don't apply to me as I'm not a freelancer, overall, I've been impressed with the series - especially the Why I Work at Bars Instead of Coffee Shops piece.
7. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, having Cam living with me - and not living with Mike (who loved to cook) - I've been doing a lot more cooking lately. I'm always on the lookout for budget friendly ideas, and came across a similar service to eMeals called $5 Meal Plan. Although I've been fairly happy with the budget eMeals recipes, there are usually several that are meatless, and meatless is not an option in this house. I just signed up for the 14-day trial of $5 Meal Plan to see if maybe I can pick and choose from both plans to put together a menu for a full week that has food Cam will actually eat.
8. If you are someone who believes those people are just lazy and taking advantage of government programs (and even if you aren't), read this New York Times article Homelessness, Step by Step. Not only does it address that social service agencies are terribly difficult to navigate, it puts real faces on those people. *HINT* they look like your nextdoor neighbors. 
9. I think I'll buy this Italian villa that was featured in Call Me By Your Name (which I had to google because I had no idea that it was a movie) with my retirement savings ... or maybe just a brick from the Italian villa because that's about the size of my retirement savings.
10. This happened on my left shoulder/arm on Friday. It reads:

May I grow so tall and bright

So free and wild, so brave and vibrant

That when you see me standing

You think I am a sunflower

TMI Tuesday | I Need My Space

1. Do you think that fate or destiny play a role in love?
a. Absolutely
b. For the most part
c. Somewhat
d. Not really
e. Not at all

(a) Absolutely! Not that there isn't deliberate action required for long-term love, but there is a whole bunch of randomness that needs to fall into place as well.

2. True or False – If my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partners, I change them.

True? False? I am more likely to suppress my sexual likes if they aren't in line with my partner's. My dislikes? I'm not sure I've found those boundaries yet.

3. You and your partner are at a party. Both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending, although you aren’t the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. During the socializing, what would you most likely do?
a. I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is.
b. I’d be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests.
c. I’d stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations.
d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling.
e. I let my partner drift or stick by me – as she/he wishes.

(a) I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is. I'd also wonder what the hell I was doing at a party that required socializing! 

4. Have you ever gone through your partner’s journal, diary or personal letters?
a. Yes – I‘ve read it/them from A to Z.
b. Yes – I’ve read some of it/them.
c. I know where she/he keeps them but I haven’t read any.
d. I know where she/he keeps them – I couldn’t help but look – but I haven’t read any.
e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking.
f. No – I don’t know she/he keeps them, even though I’ve looked.

Up until recently, (e) No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking would have been my answer. I would like (e) to be my answer if/when I'm ever in another relationship. Unfortunately, I fell into (b) Yes – I’ve read some of it/them at the end of my relationship with Mike, and although I don't feel good about that, it was information that I needed so as not to believe all of the negativity that was spewed my direction.

5. Have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters or text messages without your permission? How did you feel? What did you do?

Honestly? I don't know. I've certainly had a romantic partner read my blog, which is kind of like a diary (except public), but I have no idea if a romantic partner has gone through any of my personal stuff. When I'm in a relationship I don't do things that need to be hidden, so it really wouldn't matter to me *shrugs*

Bonus:  What makes you feel loved?

Honesty. Respect. Acceptance. Thoughtfulness. 

Sunday Stealing | Tea and Q&A

Sunday Stealing

1. What is your middle name and what is a middle name you'd rather have instead? Why?

My middle name is Luann, and honestly? As middle names go I'll keep it. Besides, it lets me be Dana Lu on several media platforms. In fact, Siri even knows me as Dana Lu.

2. How would you spend $1M (you have to spend every penny!)

The only way I would spend every penny of $1M is if I could spend it entirely on investments and not physical stuff.

3. Yellow light - speed up or slow down??

Three car lengths or less? SPEED UP! Especially in Las Vegas where they do traffic lights very differently than anywhere else I've ever lived, and it is not unusual to sit at a red light for 4-5 minutes if you just missed the green/yellow light.

4. What was the last movie you saw and what did you like/dislike about it?

The last movie I saw in a movie theater was Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Yes, that was in 2015. Obviously I'm not a big opening day/first run movie kind of person. What did I like/dislike about it? I thought the movie was great! 

5. If a movie was made about you, who would portray you in that movie?

That's a movie I'd never go see, but? Mariska Hargitay. I don't know what it is about her, but she would be my choice.

6. What is the strangest thing you've eaten and what did it taste like?

Y'all know I was stationed in Korea for a year, right? I've eaten many odd foods in Korea, including a delicacy they are well known for - dog. And it tasted like a very lean, slightly gamey red meat. 

7. What color is your bathroom?

I live in a rented condo - every room is "rental white".

8. If you could vacation anywhere in the world RIGHT NOW, where would it be and why?

I've always wanted to travel to Greece. It's a beautiful country, on the ocean, and with food that I adore!

9. What is your least favorite thing to cook?

I don't cook things that I don't like to cook. That would make cooking a chore rather than something I enjoy.

10. What is the dish you make that your family rolls their eyes at?

See question 9.

11. What are three things on your bucket list?

I have no bucket list, not because there aren't things I'd like to do before I die, but because I take experiences as they come. I don't have specific experiences that I feel compelled to pursue.

12. How many skeins of yarn do you think you are currently hoarding?

ZERO! Yarn crafts are not my thing.

13. Today is my birthday.  What virtual gift are you going to give me?

I don't know you, and I try to give gifts that are thoughtful, so you'd likely get no gift at all. There's nothing worse than those "I feel obligated to give you something so here is a candle" gifts.

14. What is your favorite candy?

Raisinettes ... especially when they are mixed in with salty movie theater popcorn. In fact, that little snack might just get me to the theater to watch Black Panther.

15. What is your favorite time of the day and why?

I am a morning person. I get up between 5AM - 6AM every day. Yes, even on the weekends. I love that time of day. The world is quiet and calm.

16. If you could call in sick for a day, what would you do with the time?

Binge watch NetFlix? I can't imagine calling in sick if I'm not actually sick and not able to function.

17. How much did your last crafting run cost you?

My last crafting run was for the Christmas ornaments I made last year. Total cost? $25 to make 10 of them.

18. Can you play a musical instrument and if so, which one?

I used to be quite the musician. I started playing clarinet when I was 8 and played through my first year of college. In addition to the clarinet, I also played flute, saxophone, trombone, and euphonium. 

19. What is your least favorite craft that you still do? Why?

I am just baffled by this idea that people take things that are supposed to be fun and fulfilling (i.e. cooking and crafting) and turn them into something not pleasant *shrugs* It's just not something I do.

20. If you could have any job for just one day, what would it be and what would you do?

Have you ever heard of the Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Gurus? Let me make new ice cream flavors and eat food all day!

10 Things Thursday

1. I love my new cookware. I didn't realize how "used up" my old set was until I started using the new stuff. Also? Ceramic non-stick is da bomb!!
2. When people you know - and who know you well enough to know your personal struggles - ask you, "How are you doing?" do you wonder if they really just want you to say "fine"? No? Just me??
3. Viceland is BY FAR my favorite channel. Shows that top my must watch list? Bong Appetit, Desus & Mero, F*CK That's Delicious, It's Suppertime, Slutever (just discovered this one this weekend), The Trixie & Katya Show, The Untitled Action Bronson Show, and Weediquette. Viceland isn't for everyone, but if you are open minded and tired of mind candy, it's FUN! And if you don't have the Viceland channel? You can watch their shows online FO FREE!
4. This week I learned that my Cox G1GABLAST internet has a data limit of 1 terabyte per month, and with streaming on 2 TVs, Cam gaming, and me working from home, we are part of the 2% who exceed that 1 terabyte data limit. I had to upgrade to unlimited data at a cost of $169.99/month. Thank goodness my internet is reimbursed at 100% by my employer.
5. I stole this from Emmy at Right Turn without Signaling because ... hello?!?!
   
6. This week I decided it was important to learn my IKEA love language, because why not? According to the quiz, "Your IKEA love language is IVAR. You're not flashy or showy, but you're in it for the long haul. You show you care by remaining pretty flexible and you pride yourself on being able to get the job done, whatever that job may be." You can take the quiz HERE if you are so inclined.
7. Did you know there is an underwater photography contest? I didn't either, but there is, and the photos are pretty amazing!
8. Speaking of photography, I was visiting Sujomi's Project 365 blog yesterday. In her Monday post she mentioned that she had forgotten to bring her lunch to work. Reason number 29 I enjoy working from home - lunch cannot be forgotten!
9. I need these in my life ...
   
10. I've written about government assistance programs in the past, and from both sides. It was really easy to be critical before I became one of "those people" myself. 45's proposed changes to SNAP infuriate me. This idea of a USDA Foods Package is just ... well? To use 45's own favorite word? STUPID!! How will a Food Package be delivered if you're homeless? Or if you don't have a place to receive mail? Is everyone going to have to eat the same food? What if the Food Package is delivered to the wrong address? The questions go on and on. This just needs to go away ...

TMI Tuesday | Sexy

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Tell us two reasons why you would stay in a bad relationship.

Only two? Clearly, based on my history, I can find more than two, but let's go with (1) I take commitment and loyalty very seriously, even when things are bad, and (2) commingled finances.

2. Do you wish your private life was kinkier?

Right now, I just wish I had a private life, but ... YES!!! I have a long list of sexual kinks I'd like to dabble in at least once for the experience, and possibly long term depending on the satisfaction.

3. Tell us about your weirdest sexual experience.

I'm going to preface this question by admitting to my sluttery in my 20's and 30's. I've probably had more weird sexual experiences than most people have had regular sexual experiences. Now that I've gotten that disclaimer out of the way, there was this one time...

The guy I was dating asked me to meet him at a hotel for a special Valentine's Day gift. I went to the hotel, and there he was ... waiting for me. Things got pretty hot and heavy quickly. At one point he told me to just relax on the bed and he would be right back. I did as told, and when he came back ... well? It wasn't him *gasp*

My Valentine's Day gift was a surprise threesome with him and one of his friends. Now, I didn't ask for that gift, but it was enjoyable ... and a little weird. 

4. Can you have a totally hands-free orgasm?

I can and I have - so there!!

5. What tips can you give for staying hard (you personally or keeping your partner hard)?

Wait ... this is my responsibility as a woman?? I've got nothing, however I will say that if at any time during a sexual encounter it appears that something I am doing is causing the lack of hardness? I do think I have a responsibility (and desire) to rectify that situation *evil grin*

Bonus: Is it okay to not celebrate Valentine’s Day even though you have a partner? Why or why not?

You know, it's gotten trendy to hate Valentine's Day. I've never been a fan. I personally believe that if you are not showing your partner that you love them every day, there's nothing that can be done on February 14th that changes that. And? I think there is a shit-ton of pressure (via consumer marketing) to "perform" on Valentine's day. If you're in a relationship you need to go over the top to prove your love, and if you're not in a relationship, you need to FIND ONE NOW!!!

Mehhhh ... it's definitely fine to not celebrate Valentine's Day even though you have a partner, as long as you communicate why to your partner. 

10 Things Thursday

Let's try this one again. It was something I hoped would be a regular

brain cleansing exercise - a place to toss those blog post ideas that

were never written, along with other nonsensical and random thoughts.

~*~

1. One of the posts in my DRAFT folder was titled "I need to get back to this place" - it was written in November of 2015. It only took me 2-1/2 years, and a major life upheaval, to start posting on a somewhat regular basis again *rolls eyes*
2. I read this lifehacker article - The Science Behind Why Breakups Suck (and What You Can Do About It) - soon after Mike and I split up. At the time it seemed like a bunch of gobbledygook, but when I read it again recently, I realized just how spot on it is ... especially the part about exaggerating the harm rejection actually causes us. Yeah ... that ...
3. Speaking of Mike, he and I actually met up at a Bishop Gorman basketball game this past week. Watching high school basketball, seeing local kids play that are top college recruits, was something we both enjoyed when we were together, and it's something I've missed. It went well. It was good to see him. And I felt some level of closure, as strange as that might sound.
4. I read a lot of lifehacker articles. I find their topics generally interesting and their information consistently good. How to Invest in Legal Weed was no exception. I'm sure there are some of you have issues with recreational marijuana. I don't, but I do see it as a huge business and investment opportunity that I'm trying to find a way into.
5. And speaking of recreational marijuana, can I just say BEST SLEEP AID EVER. Oh how I adore the edibles. Nothing says, "Good night! Sleep tight!" quite like a 10mg peach gummy. And most dispensaries here offer at least a 15% military discount. WOOHOO!!!  
6. This trend of abusing the identification of emotional support animals needs to stop. What is a valid therapeutic benefit to many people has turned into a circus show. For shits and grins I took this screening and discovered that for just $139 I could get the required documentation to not only fly with my pet, but to live in housing that prohibits pets with my pet. *second eye roll* 
7. I am currently having to give my non-ESA cats a daily dose of Miralax. Apparently pet constipation is a real thing. Thank goodness Mike's sister is a vet tech and was able to give me dosing instructions. Believe it or not, they don't list cat dosages of the Miralax informational label.
8. My first Home Chef delivery is scheduled for today. I've become somewhat of a meal delivery kit abuser. I order the introductory box at a discounted rate and then cancel the service. Unfortunately I'm running out of meal delivery kit providers.
9. I also purchased a subscription to emeals this week. I signed up for their Budget-Friendly Family Plan. Due to the "default" on a promissory note owed to be, I need to cut down my expenses by about $500/month. Groceries are my second biggest expense. We'll see how this goes.
10. I GOT NEW COOKWARE!!!

TMI Tuesday | Random

I've got 5 posts in draft mode (and by draft mode I mean they have 

a title, a few random thoughts on a topic, and possibly a link) and 

can't seem to put any cohesive thoughts together, so decided 

a TMI Tuesday might get me in the right headspace!

~*~

1. Pancakes or waffles?

Always pancakes - preferably buttermilk and served to me at iHop. Waffles have those funky squares where all of the syrup pools *shudders*

2. Steak or Lobster?

This one is more difficult, but I think I'd go with steak, assuming it's a rib eye or a filet mignon, cooked rare.

3. Freckles or dimples?

I have dimples, but I've always thought freckles were awesome!

4. Board games or video games?

Meh ... neither one excites me terribly. If I had to choose I guess I'd go with board games.

5. Dress up or dress down?

I dress down every single day. For goodness sakes, I wear clothes to work that I'd never leave the house wearing. Good thing I work from home! So, dress up it is.

6. Backseat of car or kitchen counter? (Of course I’m talking about a spontaneous place to have sex)

I would just like to have sex ... please? It's been a while ...

I am 6' tall. I don't even like sitting in the backseat of a car. I can't imagine the logistics of attempting sex in the backseat of a car. Now, the kitchen counter? That's a different story. That would definitely work!

7. Nipple clamps or handcuffs? Tell us why you chose your particular sexual encounter enhancement?

Nipple clamps! Nipple clamps! Nipple clamps!! I have this fascination with the complexity of pain and pleasure when it comes to sex. Unfortunately it's not an area I've explored as much as I'd like to ... but there is still time.

Bonus:  How was your weekend? Would you like to repeat it or never see that weekend again?

Last weekend can fuck right off ... except for that part where the Eagles beat the Patriots *smirk*