It seems like it's been longer than that, yet the teen angst is still fresh when I think about my fellow classmates.
The reunion committee created a Facebook group. I see the faces and the names and can only associate those with the kids I knew 30 years ago.
I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago - I think it's reasonable to conclude that most of them aren't either - but I just can't seem to get there.
Filling in that gap is the one reason I wanted to go. I wanted to see what kind of adults those kids turned out to be, and I wanted those kids to see what kind of adult I had become ... flaws and all.
Would they still be cliquey? So many of them went off to college together and have kept in touch over these past 30 years. Would I still feel excluded? Like an outsider? I know I've felt that way just being a part of the Facebook group, but I'm certain that has more to do with my own insecurities than anything they are actually doing.
This is me - graduation day - 30 years ago.
I had very few friends my senior year - my closest friends were a year ahead of me in school and had graduated the year previously.
I don't have many memories of this time. I see this photo and cannot recollect having it taken. My graduation ceremony itself? Not a single memory.
When I think back to high school I remember feelings, not events, and most of those feelings are pretty dark.
I was so angst-y about the reunion that I was a little bit grateful when I learned it wasn't happening until late September. It made the logistics of attending impossible.
Airfare to Seattle was $450 per person and flying in for a short weekend would be frivolous.
If I flew into Seattle, my family (a 5-hour drive across the Cascades) would expect me to visit them too.
I'd have to pull Cam out of school for a few days.
There was just no way to make it work.
As the reunion has gotten closer, my angst has turned into longing - longing to fill in those missing memories with good stuff instead of bad stuff - longing to feel a connection of some sort to my past.
I'm looking forward to the photos that I have no doubt will land on Facebook.
I really wish I could have set aside my angst and been a part of the event.
Maybe I'll make the 40th.
Have you attended any of your class reunions? Were you disappointed or enlightened after being a part of them?
I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago - I think it's reasonable to conclude that most of them aren't either - but I just can't seem to get there.
Filling in that gap is the one reason I wanted to go. I wanted to see what kind of adults those kids turned out to be, and I wanted those kids to see what kind of adult I had become ... flaws and all.
Would they still be cliquey? So many of them went off to college together and have kept in touch over these past 30 years. Would I still feel excluded? Like an outsider? I know I've felt that way just being a part of the Facebook group, but I'm certain that has more to do with my own insecurities than anything they are actually doing.
This is me - graduation day - 30 years ago.
I had very few friends my senior year - my closest friends were a year ahead of me in school and had graduated the year previously.
I don't have many memories of this time. I see this photo and cannot recollect having it taken. My graduation ceremony itself? Not a single memory.
When I think back to high school I remember feelings, not events, and most of those feelings are pretty dark.
I was so angst-y about the reunion that I was a little bit grateful when I learned it wasn't happening until late September. It made the logistics of attending impossible.
Airfare to Seattle was $450 per person and flying in for a short weekend would be frivolous.
If I flew into Seattle, my family (a 5-hour drive across the Cascades) would expect me to visit them too.
I'd have to pull Cam out of school for a few days.
There was just no way to make it work.
As the reunion has gotten closer, my angst has turned into longing - longing to fill in those missing memories with good stuff instead of bad stuff - longing to feel a connection of some sort to my past.
I'm looking forward to the photos that I have no doubt will land on Facebook.
I really wish I could have set aside my angst and been a part of the event.
Maybe I'll make the 40th.
Have you attended any of your class reunions? Were you disappointed or enlightened after being a part of them?
6 comments:
My 20 year was last weekend. Like you I didn't attend, but I was expecting to see a flurry of photos on Facebook.
I realized yesterday I'd not seen a single post, let alone photos. *silence*
I went out and searched and scoured friends of friends FB pages to find... only 20 photos of an event that looked to be only 80 people large (from a grad class of over 500). Of those 20, they all confirmed my choice to remain home last weekend. Not a single person I'd have wanted to see again was depicted in any of them. And all the images showed me that those who did attend haven't changed from the types of people they were in high school.
I will gladly *not* be rsvping for my 30th when it comes along. Perhaps I'll change my mind for the 50th.
I usually make reunions but some turn out to be bummers. I had one girl come up to me at my 40th talking to me like we were old friends. I didn't remember her. When she realized I didn't, she screamed 'Oh my god, he doesn't remember me'. Then she ran away.
Never went. Probably never will. But transferring schools in February of my sophomore year, I never really felt like I fit in anywhere.
Now if there was a college reunion? I'd be the first to RSVP and I'd be on the planning committee.
My ten year was last year. I wondered about it quite a bit but I have too much of a life here to tend to. After the fact I found that nobody I cared to see attended the event and those that did go didn't seem to find it memorable. I'm glad I didn't waste the time and money for something that was bound to be a let-down.
I haven't been to any of mine, and don't plan on going to any future ones either. (My 25th is this year.) I can count on two hands the number of people from high school with whom I'm still in contact. Since they'd be the only ones I'd want to see, and I already keep up with them, why bother? Haven't been to any of my college reunions either. Apathy is my middle name when it comes to reunions.
Not having graduated from high school, I don't have a reunion to attend. But like you, most of my friends were a year ahead of me, and when they had their ten year reunion last year I was sad I didn't get to go. If it had been local to me, I might have just party-crashed it. I did enjoy seeing all the photos that ended up on facebook.
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