It seems like it's been longer than that, yet the teen angst is still fresh when I think about my fellow classmates.
The reunion committee created a Facebook group. I see the faces and the names and can only associate those with the kids I knew 30 years ago.
I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago - I think it's reasonable to conclude that most of them aren't either - but I just can't seem to get there.
Filling in that gap is the one reason I wanted to go. I wanted to see what kind of adults those kids turned out to be, and I wanted those kids to see what kind of adult I had become ... flaws and all.
Would they still be cliquey? So many of them went off to college together and have kept in touch over these past 30 years. Would I still feel excluded? Like an outsider? I know I've felt that way just being a part of the Facebook group, but I'm certain that has more to do with my own insecurities than anything they are actually doing.
This is me - graduation day - 30 years ago.
I had very few friends my senior year - my closest friends were a year ahead of me in school and had graduated the year previously.
I don't have many memories of this time. I see this photo and cannot recollect having it taken. My graduation ceremony itself? Not a single memory.
When I think back to high school I remember feelings, not events, and most of those feelings are pretty dark.
I was so angst-y about the reunion that I was a little bit grateful when I learned it wasn't happening until late September. It made the logistics of attending impossible.
Airfare to Seattle was $450 per person and flying in for a short weekend would be frivolous.
If I flew into Seattle, my family (a 5-hour drive across the Cascades) would expect me to visit them too.
I'd have to pull Cam out of school for a few days.
There was just no way to make it work.
As the reunion has gotten closer, my angst has turned into longing - longing to fill in those missing memories with good stuff instead of bad stuff - longing to feel a connection of some sort to my past.
I'm looking forward to the photos that I have no doubt will land on Facebook.
I really wish I could have set aside my angst and been a part of the event.
Maybe I'll make the 40th.
Have you attended any of your class reunions? Were you disappointed or enlightened after being a part of them?
I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago - I think it's reasonable to conclude that most of them aren't either - but I just can't seem to get there.
Filling in that gap is the one reason I wanted to go. I wanted to see what kind of adults those kids turned out to be, and I wanted those kids to see what kind of adult I had become ... flaws and all.
Would they still be cliquey? So many of them went off to college together and have kept in touch over these past 30 years. Would I still feel excluded? Like an outsider? I know I've felt that way just being a part of the Facebook group, but I'm certain that has more to do with my own insecurities than anything they are actually doing.
This is me - graduation day - 30 years ago.
I had very few friends my senior year - my closest friends were a year ahead of me in school and had graduated the year previously.
I don't have many memories of this time. I see this photo and cannot recollect having it taken. My graduation ceremony itself? Not a single memory.
When I think back to high school I remember feelings, not events, and most of those feelings are pretty dark.
I was so angst-y about the reunion that I was a little bit grateful when I learned it wasn't happening until late September. It made the logistics of attending impossible.
Airfare to Seattle was $450 per person and flying in for a short weekend would be frivolous.
If I flew into Seattle, my family (a 5-hour drive across the Cascades) would expect me to visit them too.
I'd have to pull Cam out of school for a few days.
There was just no way to make it work.
As the reunion has gotten closer, my angst has turned into longing - longing to fill in those missing memories with good stuff instead of bad stuff - longing to feel a connection of some sort to my past.
I'm looking forward to the photos that I have no doubt will land on Facebook.
I really wish I could have set aside my angst and been a part of the event.
Maybe I'll make the 40th.
Have you attended any of your class reunions? Were you disappointed or enlightened after being a part of them?
