30 Years Later

This weekend is my 30-year class reunion.

It seems like it's been longer than that, yet the teen angst is still fresh when I think about my fellow classmates.

The reunion committee created a Facebook group. I see the faces and the names and can only associate those with the kids I knew 30 years ago.

I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago - I think it's reasonable to conclude that most of them aren't either - but I just can't seem to get there.

Filling in that gap is the one reason I wanted to go. I wanted to see what kind of adults those kids turned out to be, and I wanted those kids to see what kind of adult I had become ... flaws and all.

Would they still be cliquey? So many of them went off to college together and have kept in touch over these past 30 years. Would I still feel excluded? Like an outsider? I know I've felt that way just being a part of the Facebook group, but I'm certain that has more to do with my own insecurities than anything they are actually doing.

This is me - graduation day - 30 years ago.

I had very few friends my senior year - my closest friends were a year ahead of me in school and had graduated the year previously.

I don't have many memories of this time. I see this photo and cannot recollect having it taken. My graduation ceremony itself? Not a single memory. 

When I think back to high school I remember feelings, not events, and most of those feelings are pretty dark.

I was so angst-y about the reunion that I was a little bit grateful when I learned it wasn't happening until late September. It made the logistics of attending impossible.

Airfare to Seattle was $450 per person and flying in for a short weekend would be frivolous.

If I flew into Seattle, my family (a 5-hour drive across the Cascades) would expect me to visit them too.

I'd have to pull Cam out of school for a few days.

There was just no way to make it work.

As the reunion has gotten closer, my angst has turned into longing - longing to fill in those missing memories with good stuff instead of bad stuff - longing to feel a connection of some sort to my past.

I'm looking forward to the photos that I have no doubt will land on Facebook.

I really wish I could have set aside my angst and been a part of the event.

Maybe I'll make the 40th.

Have you attended any of your class reunions? Were you disappointed or enlightened after being a part of them?

Out Of The Frying Pan

Photo Credit

When I resigned from my previous volunteer position, I knew that I'd be seeking a leadership position within the High School Band Boosters organization. Although I was interested in a front-facing position, I figured I'd wind up with the treasurer position because of my skill set.

It turned out the "incumbent" treasurer wanted to keep her position.

That left openings for Secretary (UGH!), Vice-President (a title with little responsibility), and President.

I WANTED TO BE THE PRESIDENT!!!

Being President would be a stretch for me - an opportunity to learn some new skills that would (hopefully) increase my effectiveness in group settings, something I struggled with in my last volunteer position.

As it turned out, there were three of us interested in the President position. 

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to lose?

That I tend to be a little bit competitive?

Fortunately for my competitors, the booster organization decided CO-Presidents would be ideal, and one of the other interested parents decided she would be better suited for the Vice-President position.

WHEW!

Crisis averted!

We are ALL winners and we ALL got a trophy!!

Photo Credit

In the two weeks since taking on this opportunity, I've been to an executive board meeting, I've designed a program template for the concerts, I've set up a music booster facebook page and email account, and I've addressed numerous issues in person (cornered at a football game) and via email.

Tonight I'll be attending an orchestra concert.

And you know what??

I am thoroughly enjoying it!

I am passionate about arts programs in our public schools.

I am excited about expanding my comfort zone.

I am seeing real change and results in person.

Now all I need is my tiara ... seriously ... the Vice-President works in the corporate offices of claire's and she has promised me a tiara before year end.

After all, I am a fragile flower of femininity ...

♫ Name That Tune ♫

~*~

Cam's final band/choir concert for the 2011-2012 school year was last night. Generally, I enjoy these. I suffered through four years of listening to what can only be described as unintelligible noise in the key of OMG!

High school performances are my reward for not insisting Cam give up music after the 5th grade.

Last night the performance theme was "Music In Motion". All groups who performed moved around the stage and through the aisles of the auditorium. It really was fun ... akin to an indoor marching band performance.

The choirs? Well?

They attempted a similar performance style, although limited it to setting themselves up in a different configuration on the stage prior to the start of each piece they sang.

I wish they had focused a bit more on a few of their soloists ... and by focused I mean told them they couldn't sing and selected a soloist who could sing.

What? It's petty to judge the quality of high school musicians? They did their best? Everyone should have the opportunity to stand out from the group and perform?

BULLSHIT!

Not at the high school level, and probably not at the middle school level either (although I'm a bit more tolerant of it at the middle school level).

High school music - just like high school varsity sports - is competitive. There are a select few who are excellent performers, a big chunk that are average performers, and a handful who better rethink their plans of declaring music as their college major ... unless they want to live in their parent's basement permanently.

When I was their age (Yes! I am going there!) solos were put out for audition. Musicians auditioned for the solos. The BEST performer was given the solo. If you didn't get the solo you auditioned for, you worked harder so that you had a better performance the next time.

Apparently music did not remain unscathed in the "Everyone is a winner! Everyone gets a trophy!" generation, because one or two of those solos last night? 

Let's just say that I couldn't help but scrunch my face up in hopes that it would somehow block off my ability to hear.

I considered throwing my hands up over my ears but was afraid the people sitting behind me might have been the proud parents of the tone deaf kids.

What say you? At the high school level, should the best performer get the solo? Or should anyone who shows an interest be allowed the spotlight??

~*~

(3/365)

Little Drummer Boy

~*~*~

As it's been a while since many of you have heard anything about Cam, I thought I'd give y'all a quick update.

Cam's first year at the therapeutic day school was nothing less than craptastic.  What we (I) thought would be a short stint in the "big house" turned into a battle of wills.  During our IEP meeting in the spring, we struck a deal - if Cam performed well during summer session, he would be able to begin transitioning back to his home high school in the fall.

It was if if someone flipped a switch.

His attitude and behavior improved beyond measure.

His grades were phenomenal (for him) - an A in world history, a B in English.

All systems were "GO" until the therapeutic day school balked - claimed they hadn't made any such commitment to the transition based on summer school (because there were only 2 classes and it was a self-contained session). I called for another IEP and set my foot down. I won. Cam earned it.

Cam started transitioning to his home high school (1/4 time) this fall - taking 2 non-academic classes (concert band and PE) while still maintaining full academics at the therapeutic day school.

He is again involved in his first love (music), playing the bass drum in the marching band and the oboe in the concert band.

His report card first term (combined from both schools) included 2 A's, 2 B's and 2 C's.

*NOTE* For all of you "My little snowflake is in honor society and always gets a trophy" bumper sticker parents - FUCK YOU! My kid is as imperfect as the come, but he's making significant changes and I'm proud!

Cam added an academic class at his home high school second term. He is now at the high school 1/2 time and the therapeutic day school 1/2 time.  Assuming he continues to do well *crosses fingers* he will be back at his home high school - full time - after winter break

Cam's academic/behavioral achievements also earned him Driver's Ed.  He got his driver's permit last month and refuses to let me drive anywhere any more.  For all of you parents of tweens who won't have anything to do with you?  Good news! They want to spend time with you again when they get their driver's permit.  But something tells me this is the last HOO-RAH.

Unfortunately, not everything has been de-thorned roses.  Cam continues to make poor choices regarding friends and "extra-curricular"activities, and those choices continue to bite him in the ass.  A few weeks ago those choices resulted in the police coming to visit us at 2AM to question Cam regarding an incident involving drugs (weed) and a machete.  Fortunately, he was not in possession of either of those items, however he was with the group of kids where both of those items were present.

Choose bad friends? Find yourself in bad places.

I'm hoping this lesson is learned quickly

Progress, not perfection ... right??

~*~*~