08 March 2012

Gender Reveal Parties?

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My friend Jana posted the following tweet yesterday:


I had never heard of a "Gender Reveal Party". My first thought was it must be an event where some of the attendees dress in drag and, throughout the night, everyone tries to guess their gender. After each party guest consumes the mandatory 20 Jell-O shots, someone rings the "Gender Reveal" bell and everyone takes off their clothes, revealing their gender.

Imagine my disappointment surprise when I googled the term and discovered a "Gender Reveal Party" was:

A popular party where an expecting couple, along with their friends and family, find out the sex of their baby for the first time in a creative way. The ultrasound technician seals the news in an envelope, which is then dropped off with a baker. The baker then bakes a cake with the appropriate gender color filling and/or cake color (that's blue for a boy - pink for a girl - gender stereotyping begins in utero now), but decorates it in a non-gender specific manner. At the party, the expecting parents cut the cake to learn the gender of their baby(ies), sharing that special moment with all of their guests.


Are you kidding me?

It seems like a really bad idea to give an uncomfortably pregnant woman, standing next to the man she will be screaming obscenities at during delivery, a sharp knife ... especially in front of a bunch of witnesses party guests.

We know the party guests are not giddy with anticipation of learning the baby's gender. Nooooo ... they are looking at the expecting parents, imagining them naked in the Carnal Crisscross position, which is a bit uncomfortable (and strangely erotic) for Great Aunt Betsy!

Look, I get that pregnancy is an exciting life event, but soon enough that little Crotch Parasite is going to escape from it's protective shell, screaming, spewing unidentifiable liquids from all of its orifices, and inducing sleep deprivation for the next 18 years.

My guess?

The parents are going to wish they attended my version of a "Gender Reveal Party" soon enough.

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4 comments:

Jana A (@jana0926) said...

AHAHAHAHAHAH! I love it! That's fantastic! I like your version better!

I'm With Stupid said...

I think a Conception Party where folks stand around and video the actions that lead to fertilization taking place would be cool. Cheers!!

Matt-Man

I'm With Stupid said...

Eh. As long as there's an open bar any party can be a great time.

Jay

Mike said...

...screaming obscenities ... a sharp knife ...

I've seen this movie.