~*~*~
C- What color/flavor candy cane should I put in your stocking?
In my world (a perfect, consistent, black and white world) this is a silly question. Candy Canes come in one color combination - red and white - and one flavor - peppermint - and I would prefer they be used for decorations on the tree rather than find their way to my stocking - EEUUUWWWW!
H- If Santa really comes down the chimney of people's houses and he busts out the bricks on the way down, do you think that is covered by his Christmas insurance?
I'm thinking Santa doesn't carry Christmas insurance ... which is why I live in an apartment without a fire place.
R- Did you know that rabbits eat their own poop to get the nutrients from the food that they didn't get from it the first time they ate it?
No, I didn't, but I think I'll suggest this to Cam as a means to lower our grocery budget.
I- Have you ever sucked on an icicle?
Is that a euphemism?? Ummm ... YES!
S- Do you think there is too much sex on tv?
I think there is not enough sex in my bedroom.
T- We're eating tacos. Taco sauce - hot, medium, mild or OMG my butthole is going to hurt tomorrow! ?
Is there a level above "OMG my butthole is going to hurt tomorrow"? I like a challenge!
M- Are you sick of Christmas music yet?
I love instrumental Christmas music - classical piano, symphonic and acoustic guitar. I could listen to that type of Christmas music all year long, and in fact I do. But that muzak crap pumped through every mall and grocery store speaker? I was done with that before it ever even started.
A- Add up the number of windows in your house, subtract that number by the number of doors you have in your house, multiply that by the number of hallways you have in your house and then add the number of light switches. Whats your answer?
4 windows - 4 doors * 0 hallways * 7 light switches = ZERO!
S- You build a snowman (yes you really do), what color hat do you have him wear? And now you are going to build a sand castle (yes, shut up, you do that too), does it have a moat?
Cross dressing Frosty will be wearing a red hat with a veil and the sand castle? A moat? Of course it has a mother fucking moat! It's a sand castle!
I am just not in the fucking Peace-Hope-Joy-Love mood, so instead you get ...
Thursday Thunks - The Christmas Version
Thursday Thunks - The Christmas Version
C- What color/flavor candy cane should I put in your stocking?
In my world (a perfect, consistent, black and white world) this is a silly question. Candy Canes come in one color combination - red and white - and one flavor - peppermint - and I would prefer they be used for decorations on the tree rather than find their way to my stocking - EEUUUWWWW!
H- If Santa really comes down the chimney of people's houses and he busts out the bricks on the way down, do you think that is covered by his Christmas insurance?
I'm thinking Santa doesn't carry Christmas insurance ... which is why I live in an apartment without a fire place.
R- Did you know that rabbits eat their own poop to get the nutrients from the food that they didn't get from it the first time they ate it?
No, I didn't, but I think I'll suggest this to Cam as a means to lower our grocery budget.
I- Have you ever sucked on an icicle?
Is that a euphemism?? Ummm ... YES!
S- Do you think there is too much sex on tv?
I think there is not enough sex in my bedroom.
T- We're eating tacos. Taco sauce - hot, medium, mild or OMG my butthole is going to hurt tomorrow! ?
Is there a level above "OMG my butthole is going to hurt tomorrow"? I like a challenge!
M- Are you sick of Christmas music yet?
I love instrumental Christmas music - classical piano, symphonic and acoustic guitar. I could listen to that type of Christmas music all year long, and in fact I do. But that muzak crap pumped through every mall and grocery store speaker? I was done with that before it ever even started.
A- Add up the number of windows in your house, subtract that number by the number of doors you have in your house, multiply that by the number of hallways you have in your house and then add the number of light switches. Whats your answer?
4 windows - 4 doors * 0 hallways * 7 light switches = ZERO!
S- You build a snowman (yes you really do), what color hat do you have him wear? And now you are going to build a sand castle (yes, shut up, you do that too), does it have a moat?
Cross dressing Frosty will be wearing a red hat with a veil and the sand castle? A moat? Of course it has a mother fucking moat! It's a sand castle!
~*~*~
7 comments:
Very funny Dana. I only like candy canes when I crush them and use them to decorate cookies.
High five. I hate candy canes and the only purpose they serve is to decorate the tree.
Merry Christmas. QCTM
Candy canes can be used as a cigar substitute.
Merry Christmas, I hope it was ok for you. :)
Ghad, I must be bored -- I actually did that window/door/hallway/lightswitch thingie and got 13. Irrefutable proof that I really DO need to get a second job in 2011.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year whether you fucking like it or not HA! I could hear it in your writing, just a bit...
Post a Comment