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Out here in the blogosphere, there's a lot of talk about how people suck. I've certainly engaged in that type of banter. Heck, tales of husband are often prime "people suck" fodder. But guess what? There are moments when people make your day - and not because they give you something to complain about.Things have been going fairly well with Cam after the explosion this summer. Going back to school - staying busy with football and church activities - just returning to a productive routine seems to have made a tremendous difference.
* NOTE TO SELF * start researching options for next summer early. There will be no Devil's playground idle hands next summer.
In the past, I've shared with you some of Cam's social challenges (Gee, I wonder where he gets those from?!) I cannot tell you what the root cause of these issues is - whether it is environmental (being "new" in a small town, racial components, etc.) or whether Cam is just one of those kids who is different enough that other kids (and some adults) don't "get" him so choose to stay away from him - ostracize him.
So, last night was "Monday Night Football" in the Land of Lincoln. Cam decided he really wanted to ride with "the guys" and didn't particularly want mom tagging along. I dropped him off at "the field" (don't get me started on the inability of adults to communicate effectively via email, this is a *happy* post) and he found a ride with Coach John, Coach John's son and a Coach John's son's non-football friend.
That in itself was a wonderful gift! I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off these past few months. This gave me a night off - a few hours to just sit and be quiet - something I don't get much of these days.
When 7:30 rolled around I started to get a bit worried. The game started at 5:00 and should have been over by 6:30 at the latest. Did I screw up? Was I supposed to pick Cam up from the game? No ... I distinctly remember Coach John telling me he'd drop him off at home. I decided I'd wait until 8:00 before going into full panic mode. It was just a few minutes after 7:30 when Cam walked in the door - with a take-out food container.
It just so happens that Coach John's wife works with me. She has become a friend - someone who has had similar struggles in raising her kids - someone who has wonderful advise and an amazing ability to listen and not judge. She and Coach John had taken Cam out to dinner, with their family, after the game.
This might not seem like anything unusual, but it is unusual in my world. This just doesn't happen to us. People in my town have never been this nice to Cam - never invited him to parties - certainly never taken him out to dinner. I actually cried when I discovered what they had done for Cam. I'm hoping I'll be able to manage my emotions when I thank my co-worker for her kindness this morning.
A little dramatic? Maybe, but you know what? It's the little things that can make such an unexpected, positive impact in people's lives. You could see the pride on Cam's face - a moment of feeling like he fit in. And me? I was overwhelmed by the kindness towards Cam - the kindness towards me - and the feeling that we mattered.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of something small that just made your day? Feel like sharing?
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25 comments:
...well, this post just made my day!...
As a prelude to my TMI Tuesday answers, I wrote something along a very similar vein.
Great minds think alike, huh?
That was very nice of them, and good for Cam...and you.
I never completely lose hope or optimism because I know that in this world littered with assholes, there are still nice people lurking and helping out.
I yesterday was very appeciative of all of the comments yesterday from you and others that I will be passing on to Ryno during his academic turmoil. Cheers Dana!!
I'm glad someone could give both of you that gift. For Cam, the gift of fitting in - for you, the gift of a night where you can relax and not worry about where and who your son is with.
How wonderful. People have little things for me and it has been great and touching. But something tells me that when someone does something nice for your kid it is even better than them doing it for you.
Phfrankie Bondo, and being able to write it sure made my day!
Hubman, it really is the little, unexpected kindness that means so much. isn't it?
Matt-Man, I am an eternal optimist which often times bites me in the butt, but those moments when it doesn't? They really are amazing!
Emmy, since the events of the summer, I really haven't been able to let my guard down unless Cam was in the house or with me. I hadn't realized just how much tension that was causing until I was able to let it go for a couple of hours. It really was a wonderful gift for the both of us!
Karen, very true Karen! I could live with the world being harsh to me forever, but when that happens to a child - any child - it is heart-wrenching. Kindness to a child is a very special thing.
I'm always pleased when people are simply nice and kind just for the sake of being so. When people aren't ugly and hateful it's just a wonderful day.
I live in small town Nebraska and my MIL passed away last month....we have been gone every weekend taking care of her things and every weekend we have had friends and neighbors come mow our lawn. And no we have not yet ask anyone to do it! Makes us a little weepy to know that so many people care and all we can do is verbalize and feel the words "Thank You".
I've been on the receiving end plenty. Such a wonderful feeling. This week, I have two friends that are taking off work to help with the anniversary party. One's decorating and one's arranging flowers. And of course, I'd do the same for them.
I'm so glad you were able to relax for an evening and Cam had the opportunity to hang out with another family. That's such a wonderful gift!
That is really awesome! They sound like just nice people in general. :-)
I have been reading you posts for a while now and don't know if I have commented or not but my heart goes out to you and Cam. People can be so cruel. Loved the football picture, he's one fine looking young man. Thank goodness there are good people in this world like his coach. I hope things continue to get better.
How wonderful for Cam...and for mom.
when we moved to MA, Matt was ostracized because he 'spoke funny' and it killed me that he could not make friends...
Then he began to and BAM - it all changed. Keep a positive attitude and Cam will also.
Saying little prayers that all the bad times are going to fade away and you and Cam will have a chance to see more sunshine in your lives.
Marsha, that it is! I was surprised at how that simple bit of kindness changed the dynamic of even homework last night. So simple and yet so powerful!
Granny Nanny, yep! That is definitely a wonderful gift!
Real Live Lesbian, having a chance to see a relatively "healthy" family interact is likely the most important aspect of this kindness. Cam doesn't get to see much of that.
It really is the little things like this that touch us.
:)
Evil Twin's Wife, that they are. In fact, this coach was the *only* coach who didn't tell me that Cam was "faking" his back injury - who actually stood up for him. These are GREAT people!
Linda, welcome to the land of commenters! I still believe that people *want* to be "good", they just don't often realize the impact of their negativity.
Bond, I really believe that all it will take is ONE kid who discovers that Cam has a heart of gold and really has the character of a true friend. I'm hoping he may have found that kid last night!
That was very nice of them. Hopefully people like them can be a more positive influence for Cam.
You don't have to save the world to make a difference. One kind word or action can start a better path for everyone.
After my wife died the person who amazed me the most was my boss. Before then if you asked me if he had a heart I would have said probably not. After her death he kept asking me how I was doing. He also told me if I ever felt the need to leave to just let one of the managers on duty know and to go. Two weeks to the day after her death would have been her 45th birthday. I was doing fine and then I started to lose it so I left. When I came back the next day he asked me if I was alright. Sometimes you just never know about people.
I'm sure I have, but honestly can't give a specific time.
But my boys always had friends who were sorta like Cam. Other parents just didn't give these kids a chance. I remember taking one boy to Pizza Hut when they were in 8th grade. This kids had never, EVER been to a Pizza Hut before! And when he would spend the night I would make him wash his clothes (cause he just stunk) and I would cook dinner and breakfast and he acted like it was the BEST thing anyone had ever done for him. I felt sad knowing his parents must surely have been losers cause he never had a real cooked meal, but I can't tell you what HE did for MY heart by being so appreciative.
That's probably a stupid story, but I just remember how good I felt knowing that what I normally do made someone else feel so special, ya know?
I'm so happy to see that things have taken a turn for the better. I'm also just sad, though, that things were bad enough to make the simple act of someone honoring the dignity and worth of Cam such a big deal. Here's hoping this is permanent!
Give freely, accept gracefully.. both have rewards most never experience...
I don't know if approve of Coach John's son's non-football friend. Have you ever seen Dazed and Confused? Those non-football friends are bad news!
Pretty nice of the coach to take Cam out to dinner. Better be careful Dana, this is how all of those feel-good NFL stories get started. ;)
Maybe it's me.. But, who doesn't extend at least common courtesy to a kid? However, I have begun to notice that in places that are very homogenous, the likelihood of this kind of behavoir is higher.. Glad I grew up in the South.. You learn to dislike the behavior, not the skin/car/house/neighborhood...
I am glad that something nice was done for Cam/you. I think that you both needed some good vibes for once.
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