05 November 2007

Just When Things Start Looking Up

They come crashing down. I've been at my "dream" job for 4 months now. It's doing exactly what I wanted to do after graduating from college last year. I've been frustrated with the position at times - training has been sporadic and inconsistent, I had absolutely no experience in the field going in - but I was just starting to feel like maybe things were clicking.

I spoke to the office manager on Wednesday and gave a bit of an ultimatum - I was frustrated and needed more training. I asked that I be either given that training or let go if I wasn't the right fit. I wanted to do the best that I could for the firm, but I wasn't being given the tools I needed to succeed.

Friday afternoon one of the partners stopped by my desk and asked me to come to the office manager's office. Her first words? "We have decided that today will be your last day at the firm." Wow … so much for my "dream" job … My reason for termination? I am not a good fit for the firm.

I'm having a really difficult time with this. I am questioning whether I am a good fit anywhere. A quick look at my employment history for the last 4 years (5 different employers) starts looking questionable. Did I screw up by completing a degree in paralegal studies? Am I just too stupid to handle the demands of an international trademark paralegal position? Should I just go back to accounting, earn $35,000/year and be happy?

DH has been GREAT through all of this, telling me there is no need to worry - financially we'll be fine - that this really isn't about my inadequacies - blah, blah, blah. I'm grateful for his support (he *owes* me after his last unemployment debacle), but I don't believe a word he is saying. I find myself in a position where I doubt all that I thought I knew, and that is not a good feeling.

The job-hunt starts today with a revamping of the resume. I've got to look at going to a functional resume rather than a chronological resume, as my employment history is so spotty these days. I've done some preliminary searching and it doesn't look real good out there. The holiday season is never a good time to be looking for a job.

Damn … damn … DAMN!

3 comments:

Meggie Mom Fantastic said...

Oh I'm sorry :( You do know, however, that this is a good opportunity to get your kid outta that awful school, right???? *brainwashing*

Just Me said...

Oh hun this stinks!! :( I hope everything will work out. Maybe this will give you some time to get son on right track. ((hugs)) I will be thinking of you.

Just your everyday average married momma... said...

Uh, I hear that Wal-mart is hiring cashiers.....
buahahaha