I was doing so well with routine blogging - sure, much of it was memes and regurgitating things that I had read, but it was happening regularly - a huge improvement over what it had been.
And then I took a "vacation" to Dallas to visit a friend who I hadn't seen for 10 years ... and things imploded ...
I had scheduled this visit twice - the first time I cancelled the airline ticket and hotel reservation within 24 hours after making them. I should have listened to my instincts - there was a reason I cancelled - and the reason was SCREAMING. But in true Dana fashion (sorry for the 3rd person reference), I ignored it.
Then the "vacation" was rescheduled and happened.
It was a cluster fuck from the beginning.
After picking me up from the airport, Fionn and I went to Walmart to pick up groceries. My hotel reservations were at Residence Inn specifically because I was looking to save some money on eating out. Our trip to Walmart resulted in a 2+ hour extravaganza of drama - as we were checking out, another customer fell and hit her head. We spent the next hour tending to her and waiting for paramedics to arrive.
At this point? I should have been prepared for the shit-show that was inevitable.
But me being me, I was all' "This is life - this is what happens -it's all good!" I should have gone home after that because it got worse ...
Without going into details (to protect the *not so* "innocent") it was cluster fuck after cluster fuck, ending in Fionn being admitted to the hospital on the day I left and me spending 8 hours at DFW waiting for my flight.
And then the end of an 11-year friendship ...
I spent $1,000 to be absolutely miserable.
I am embarrassed - I am disappointed - it's tough to blog when you are in that place.
Add to that? I turned 54 and had to evaluate where my life is.
It's been a tough month - I'm trying to put it in order, but? GAHHHHHH!
So ... that's where I've been. I'm not sure where I'll be in a week/month, but here I am ... broken and confused ... again ...
4 comments:
This looks like you could five more posts out of this one post.
Mike, five is a conservative number!
It has taken me a long LONG time, but I'm starting to give my gut more credit than my head when it comes to it feeling things. Usually my brain steps in and trying to rationalize it or something. Sorry the trip sucked so bad. And the end of an 11yr friendship? Wowza. I agree with Mike, sounds like there could be at least a week's worth of posts.
Emmy, you and I are very much alike. I feel that my head is a rational playground and should be more accurate than my heart. That certainly wasn't the case this time.
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