~*~*~
Many (most?) of us have donated food to a food drive at some point in our lives. During the holidays especially, many schools and larger employers run some type of food drive. Non-perishables are collected in some large container with a sign telling us who will be getting the food and what the collection goal is and then sometime, usually right before Christmas, there is an announcement stroking our ego telling us how many families we've fed.
Have you ever wondered what it was like to be on the receiving end of those non-perishables? Have you ever thought about the faces - the stories - of the people who aren't able to secure food for themselves or their families? I think most of us consider it at some level, but I'd venture to say that most of us really don't want to think too hard about it either. We usually have some preconceived notions about those people.
I'm not sharing my food pantry experience to evoke sympathy, but rather to give you an idea of what it is like to be the one who needs what goes into those big boxes.
I'm fairly certain I mentioned that when Cam and I first moved out of the house, a friend who helped me move secured an emergency food distribution from our community food bank for Cam and me. In addition to basic non-perishables (boxes of cereal, tuna, peanut butter, noodles, etc.) we also received $40 in food vouchers to be used at our local market. Unfortunately, our local market has 5 aisles. Prices are extremely high. $40 doesn't go far, but it did allow me to get some fresh items - meat and produce - and some non-food items like toothpaste and toilet paper. It got us through those first few weeks.
It was also painless. I didn't actually have to go to the food pantry - it was delivered by the friend who helped me "qualify" for it.
At the end of January, I was again in a position where Cam and I needed food. We were down to a few cans of soup and some odd things like tomato paste, and canned chillies - things that require a little bit of help to actually become part of a meal. The thought of going to a food pantry was humiliating. The thought of not being able to feed Cam a nutritious meal was worse.
One of the challenges associated with securing food, when you don't have the money to buy it yourself, is finding a community food pantry that you can actually use. Most community food pantries require you live in the community that hosts them and require proof of residency to receive assistance.
In addition to the community residency requirements, many food pantries have limited hours of operation. Our community food pantry - the one I received the emergency distribution from - is open only on the third Monday of the month - and from 8:30AM - 10:30AM only. I had missed our local food pantry by a week.
An extensive online search (and by extensive I mean that it took me at least an hour) led me to a food pantry run by a "mega-church" about 20 miles from the house. They were open on Saturdays and had no residency requirements. The only restriction was that you could visit only one time each month. I sucked up my pride and headed out early Saturday morning.
My initial impression was surprisingly good. The people who greeted me were friendly. The paperwork was fairly painless. The waiting area was crowded, but clean, well lit and didn't scream "PITIFUL PEOPLE COME HERE!" I waited about 30 minutes for my name to be called so that I could be "interviewed" by a "case worker."
The case worker sat down and went over my paperwork with me. There were a few additional questions - did I want the large can of orange juice or the bottle of laundry detergent (I picked the laundry detergent). Although I was on the verge of tears the moment I left the house, I finally lost it during the interview process. It wasn't anything the interviewer said, it was just the overwhelming sense of failure I felt. And then it got worse ...
I suppose I should have expected it. I was visiting a church sponsored food pantry. I understand that Christians (said generally) feel it is equally important to feed the soul with the word of God as it is to provide food for the body, but even I was taken aback by the forcefulness with which this was done.
After reviewing the paperwork, my case manager handed me a 3 x 5 card with a Bible verse printed on it. She then ... well ... she didn't ask ... she said, "Read that Bible verse out loud to me." I hesitated, then did as I was instructed. I was certain once I got through that she would hand me my bags of groceries, but she continued, "Tell me what that verse means to you."
As most of you know, I've recently found my way back to organized religion. I am probably more receptive to a conversation like this than many people are, yet I felt violated by her insistence that I "pay" for my food by meeting her religiously motivated demands. I couldn't begin to imagine what someone who wasn't a church-goer felt like under that type of inquisition.
My case worker then offered a prayer for me (which I accepted) and went back to get my food. Although I understand that some food pantries allow you to make choices in the foods you receive (i.e. "Would you like canned carrots or canned green beans?") many do not. She told me to wait in the entry way and to come out of the building when I saw her in the parking lot. She would then give me my food allotment for my family of two.
I loaded the bags into the back of the car, grateful for whatever they contained, but hanging my head a little lower as I headed home.
When I got home, I opened the bags. There was a pound of hamburger and some turkey wings. There were fresh tomatoes and potatoes. There was an entire bag of breads, bulk oatmeal, bulk brown rice and bulk corn flakes. There were some odd things too. A pan of four Cinnamon rolls. A package of Pork pate. Two United Airlines "Active" snack boxes. A jumble of disjointed items. I had food, but it didn't look like I was going to be able to make a "meal" out of any of it.
If there is one thing I've learned through this process it's that people will help, but they need to know that you need help in order to do so. I was looking for help with meal planning given a rather odd assortment of foods. I reached out to the two people that I knew could help - Evil Twin's Wife (queen of the frugal budget) and ... are you ready?? The one person who I know has amazing creativity when it comes to food - Doggy Bloggy. I know that last one has many of you scratching your head, but ...
Evil Twin's Wife was able to give me some really good tips and tricks for creating meals (not just throwing food on the table) on a frugal budget and with some common staples. Doggy Bloggy came up with some wonderfully creative food combinations after I gave him a list of what seemed like totally random items I had on hand. With the help of both of them, I was able to serve Cam meals, not just fill his belly.
There is a point to this long-ass post ... really ... in fact there are several.
(1) I now understand why people might choose to beg on a city street corner, steal from a grocery store, or go the "freegan" route, rather than making the choice to visit a church sponsored food pantry.
(2) It's not always feasible to get food when you need it, especially in rural America. Food pantry donations are down. Need is up (recent statistics show that one in every EIGHT Americans used a food pantry at least once in the past year). Trying to find a source for food - when you need it - can be quite challenging.
(3) There is a HUGE gap between those who qualify for "food stamps" (I do not) and making enough money to fully support your family. You'd be surprised at how much the faces at a food pantry look surprisingly like ours.
(4) There is a difference between providing food for your family and providing a meal for your family. Although random items in a grocery bag can keep your belly from rumbling, that isn't always what is most important.
Many (most?) of us have donated food to a food drive at some point in our lives. During the holidays especially, many schools and larger employers run some type of food drive. Non-perishables are collected in some large container with a sign telling us who will be getting the food and what the collection goal is and then sometime, usually right before Christmas, there is an announcement stroking our ego telling us how many families we've fed.Have you ever wondered what it was like to be on the receiving end of those non-perishables? Have you ever thought about the faces - the stories - of the people who aren't able to secure food for themselves or their families? I think most of us consider it at some level, but I'd venture to say that most of us really don't want to think too hard about it either. We usually have some preconceived notions about those people.
I'm not sharing my food pantry experience to evoke sympathy, but rather to give you an idea of what it is like to be the one who needs what goes into those big boxes.
I'm fairly certain I mentioned that when Cam and I first moved out of the house, a friend who helped me move secured an emergency food distribution from our community food bank for Cam and me. In addition to basic non-perishables (boxes of cereal, tuna, peanut butter, noodles, etc.) we also received $40 in food vouchers to be used at our local market. Unfortunately, our local market has 5 aisles. Prices are extremely high. $40 doesn't go far, but it did allow me to get some fresh items - meat and produce - and some non-food items like toothpaste and toilet paper. It got us through those first few weeks.
It was also painless. I didn't actually have to go to the food pantry - it was delivered by the friend who helped me "qualify" for it.
At the end of January, I was again in a position where Cam and I needed food. We were down to a few cans of soup and some odd things like tomato paste, and canned chillies - things that require a little bit of help to actually become part of a meal. The thought of going to a food pantry was humiliating. The thought of not being able to feed Cam a nutritious meal was worse.
One of the challenges associated with securing food, when you don't have the money to buy it yourself, is finding a community food pantry that you can actually use. Most community food pantries require you live in the community that hosts them and require proof of residency to receive assistance.
In addition to the community residency requirements, many food pantries have limited hours of operation. Our community food pantry - the one I received the emergency distribution from - is open only on the third Monday of the month - and from 8:30AM - 10:30AM only. I had missed our local food pantry by a week.
An extensive online search (and by extensive I mean that it took me at least an hour) led me to a food pantry run by a "mega-church" about 20 miles from the house. They were open on Saturdays and had no residency requirements. The only restriction was that you could visit only one time each month. I sucked up my pride and headed out early Saturday morning.
My initial impression was surprisingly good. The people who greeted me were friendly. The paperwork was fairly painless. The waiting area was crowded, but clean, well lit and didn't scream "PITIFUL PEOPLE COME HERE!" I waited about 30 minutes for my name to be called so that I could be "interviewed" by a "case worker."
The case worker sat down and went over my paperwork with me. There were a few additional questions - did I want the large can of orange juice or the bottle of laundry detergent (I picked the laundry detergent). Although I was on the verge of tears the moment I left the house, I finally lost it during the interview process. It wasn't anything the interviewer said, it was just the overwhelming sense of failure I felt. And then it got worse ...
I suppose I should have expected it. I was visiting a church sponsored food pantry. I understand that Christians (said generally) feel it is equally important to feed the soul with the word of God as it is to provide food for the body, but even I was taken aback by the forcefulness with which this was done.
After reviewing the paperwork, my case manager handed me a 3 x 5 card with a Bible verse printed on it. She then ... well ... she didn't ask ... she said, "Read that Bible verse out loud to me." I hesitated, then did as I was instructed. I was certain once I got through that she would hand me my bags of groceries, but she continued, "Tell me what that verse means to you."
As most of you know, I've recently found my way back to organized religion. I am probably more receptive to a conversation like this than many people are, yet I felt violated by her insistence that I "pay" for my food by meeting her religiously motivated demands. I couldn't begin to imagine what someone who wasn't a church-goer felt like under that type of inquisition.
My case worker then offered a prayer for me (which I accepted) and went back to get my food. Although I understand that some food pantries allow you to make choices in the foods you receive (i.e. "Would you like canned carrots or canned green beans?") many do not. She told me to wait in the entry way and to come out of the building when I saw her in the parking lot. She would then give me my food allotment for my family of two.
I loaded the bags into the back of the car, grateful for whatever they contained, but hanging my head a little lower as I headed home.
When I got home, I opened the bags. There was a pound of hamburger and some turkey wings. There were fresh tomatoes and potatoes. There was an entire bag of breads, bulk oatmeal, bulk brown rice and bulk corn flakes. There were some odd things too. A pan of four Cinnamon rolls. A package of Pork pate. Two United Airlines "Active" snack boxes. A jumble of disjointed items. I had food, but it didn't look like I was going to be able to make a "meal" out of any of it.
If there is one thing I've learned through this process it's that people will help, but they need to know that you need help in order to do so. I was looking for help with meal planning given a rather odd assortment of foods. I reached out to the two people that I knew could help - Evil Twin's Wife (queen of the frugal budget) and ... are you ready?? The one person who I know has amazing creativity when it comes to food - Doggy Bloggy. I know that last one has many of you scratching your head, but ...
Evil Twin's Wife was able to give me some really good tips and tricks for creating meals (not just throwing food on the table) on a frugal budget and with some common staples. Doggy Bloggy came up with some wonderfully creative food combinations after I gave him a list of what seemed like totally random items I had on hand. With the help of both of them, I was able to serve Cam meals, not just fill his belly.
There is a point to this long-ass post ... really ... in fact there are several.
(1) I now understand why people might choose to beg on a city street corner, steal from a grocery store, or go the "freegan" route, rather than making the choice to visit a church sponsored food pantry.
(2) It's not always feasible to get food when you need it, especially in rural America. Food pantry donations are down. Need is up (recent statistics show that one in every EIGHT Americans used a food pantry at least once in the past year). Trying to find a source for food - when you need it - can be quite challenging.
(3) There is a HUGE gap between those who qualify for "food stamps" (I do not) and making enough money to fully support your family. You'd be surprised at how much the faces at a food pantry look surprisingly like ours.
(4) There is a difference between providing food for your family and providing a meal for your family. Although random items in a grocery bag can keep your belly from rumbling, that isn't always what is most important.
The next time you drop those cans of lima beans and corned beef hash into the giant food drive box, just take a moment to think about what life looks like on the other side and know that you have the potential to feed a belly and a soul.
~*~*~
17 comments:
Thank you for sharing this Dana. I must admit that sometimes my food pantry donations are full of odd things, but I try to make an effort to put bisquick or pasta or even try to theme a meal in there.
A popular cheap meal from the starving student days: Mexican Hamburger Helper with canned beans in place of the meat or 1/2 & 1/2 with the meat.
Wow, what a way to make me think. . . even before that coffee is gone. Aside from the time i helped our church put together and deliver holiday meal boxes, I've never completely thought about what the recipient might be able to do with the food we donate. I usually just go through our pantry for items we haven't used like I thought we would. Next time I will PURPOSEFULLY go to the store to purchase items. What things would you most want to see in your donation box?? Even if I purchase things that together make a meal, the Food Pantry could split them up.
Dana, I am very proud that you were able to provide for yourself and Cam - no matter how you had to do it. I am fairly sure that I could not do what you did. I would have gone to the husband for money - both because it would be easier on my ego and because Cam and I would be entitled to support from my husband - especially for basic roof expenses!! (I bet you knew I was going to say that.)
My dad tells stories from his childhood of food pantries and holiday dinners being delivered by the church and how that made him in to the man he is today.
Also as a big food blog reader, I am going to email you a blog where a family of 2 ate on a food stamp budget for a whole month. I have made a few of low cost recipes and they were great! Though to be honest they always cost me more than claimed on the site.
You are doing what is needed to care for yourself and your son.
Nothing to be ashamed about...nothing to be afraid to shout to the world.
next time let me know, as I love to make up meals based upon what is in the cabinets at the moment...I might be able to assist.
Another Suburban Mom, don't get me wrong - everything helps - but I was surprised at how differently food and meals look when choice is taken away.
Thanks to both Evil Twin's Wife and Doggy Bloggy, I've discovered the many joys and uses of a bag of dries beans. I'll add that hamburger helper idea to my list!
better late than never, protein sources are always good ideas. Canned meats - tuna, chicken and SPAM - would have been wonderful. I don't have any spices (other than the salt and pepper packets I took from work) so seasoning packets (the dried pouches for spaghetti, tacos, etc.) would be helpful. Mixes/dinners that don't require additional ingredients. I had boxed macaroni and cheese, but no milk or butter. Cam and I ate a LOT of "complete" pancake mix.
Your comment will actually be the subject of tomorrow's post :)
Karen, in my situation, going to husband for money would have taken a greater toll on my self-esteem. I understand where you are coming from - and you're right - but I just couldn't do it.
I'd love the link to the blog you mention. Later in the week I'm going to post some wonderful resources I've stumbled upon along the way. Just wish there had been a one-stop shop for the information as finding it was quite the challenge.
I'm glad I could help. You might find some frugal recipes on my recipe blog. I think I have my ground beef casserole on there (it's one of MY favorites) and will last our family of four at least 2 days.
We have a food pantry here in town that has a huge thrift shop that helps fund it. People donate furniture, appliances, toys and clothes. The sales used to make a up a pretty good percentage of the place's revenues. But, now people are using Craigslist and Freecylce and not donating as much. I bet they don't even think about the impact they're having on the local food pantry when they do that.
Also, your experience with the proselytizing isn't uncommon. I've heard of much worse than that even in some places.
Anyway, back in the day I used to get Ramen noodles and a package of chicken breasts (bone in, skin on cause those are the cheapest) and put chicken in my noodles. A meal for less than a buck. I thought I was a brilliant chef. LOL ;-)
if you need any more ideas I love doing it (I guess in this case "it" will do) and we will never really see eye to eye (you are so much taller than me) I am glad to help.
Bond, I can't believe I didn't think of you! Shame on me!! I hope I never have to "use" you that way, but it is nice to know that I have the option.
Evil Twin's Wife, I've learned to embrace ground turkey. At $1/lb the price can't be beat and it's even more healthy! I might have to try your ground beef casserole with a ground turkey substitute!
Jay, that really is unfortunate for the food pantry. Although physical donations of food are wonderful, these food pantries usually have significant buy power and can easily purchase twice the food with $50 than the average consumer can.
doggybloggy, does it make me wrong to take just a little pleasure in knowing that you will always look up to me?? At least physically??
I'm not gonna even touch that..
I do not like what you had to go through at that church just to get some food. I am happy, however, that you did get it.
I remember working at a food bank and being horrified at some of the things that were donated. Things that had gone spoiled, half eaten things, it was just horrible.
Sending you some love, Dana.
Pfffft...I have family help me out all the time, and trust me...I can make the best crap out of "crap". Hot Dog Helper...Need I say more. Cheers Dana!!
Also have you been to the dollar store? They don't sell the fresh stuff but you can often get spices there very inexpensively as well as some other food stuffs.
You brought up something that I think is really important...
"people will help, but they need to know that you need help in order to do so"
*hugs*
You went directly to my heart with this post. I have been lucky enough to be involved in doing holiday baskets for a local food pantry and it fed MY soul to look into the eyes, minds and hearts of the people in need. You are so correct that everyone looks like you and me. Gratitude is the best attitude in that position whether you are giving or receiving. Great post. Thanks for making me think!
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