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A few weeks back, in my I can See Through You post, I touched briefly on anonymous bloggers. There was one group of those bloggers that I left out (intentionally) because mentioning that group seems to get them all up in arms and their comments tend to drag the post off topic. Who is that group? The married folks who crave the attention of an affair without the "risk" of doing it in real life.
*DISCLAIMER* I was one of those people, and some might say I still am. I am not denying nor minimizing my own actions. If you are inclined to launch personal attacks on my morals, I'll just agree with you, so save your ammunition.
One of these bloggers - Southern Sage - was someone I "knew" from early on in his (and my) blogging forays. He was my first link to HNT. We had a cyber friendship that crossed "superficial" friendship boundaries. I knew he had a wife and two children, but it really didn't matter. My actions were "harmless" because I wasn't ever going to meet him, right?? Right???
Over time, that friendship fizzled. There wasn't any catastrophic event that occurred. No angry words. No ridiculous cyber drama. I still stopped by his "place" on occasion, and he stopped by mine. We just went in different directions with blogging and blogging relationships and moved on. I never really thought much about it again.
Then I heard through the grape vine that Sage had picked up and left the cyber world. Sure enough, a quick click on his blog brought up this screen:
He was gone, not only on Blogger, but on Twitter and Facebook as well. It was a pretty safe assumption that his anonymity had been compromised and he was scrambling to pick up the pieces of devastation he left behind.
That in itself is not unusual. My guess is it happens throughout the interwebs more often than many people would like to believe. The internet has a dark side - a secret world that many of us delve into where we can carry on an "affair" we'd never consider in real life as the risk is just too great. I understand it. I've been a part of it.
What bothered me were the (as Hubman so succinctly put it) "eulogies" to him. There were several women who blogged about what Sage meant to them. That he was "loyal, honest, trustworthy, caring, kind, confident, intelligent, charming and sexy as hell." Presumably these women knew the circumstances behind his departure - that his wife became aware of his on-line alter ego - and still they used words like "loyal," "honest," and "trustworthy"? How does that work? How can you be "loyal," "honest," and "trustworthy" when you are leading two very separate and distinct lives - keeping huge secrets from the one you've committed your life to?
*NOTE* I had every intention of linking to the blog posts that I came across - I don't like to use the passive-aggressive approach to blogging (unless it's a Sunday Secret) - however the bloggers involved apparently had second thoughts about their part in all of this. One of the bloggers removed her original post and one of the bloggers has now gone private.
What should have been (in my humble opinion - considering the circumstances) a quiet disappearance out of respect for Sage's wife, children and the situation he was clearly in, turned in to what can only be described as a selfish celebration - an adulation - of a man who severely compromised the integrity of his marriage. Really?
I have nothing against Sage. I would not wish this on anyone. I sincerely hope he and "The Bride" (as he called her) are somehow able to mend this tremendous breach in their marriage. As someone who has been on both sides of this issue once or twice in my life, I know their success will be the exception, but that it can be done. I wish them the best.
But really, is this someone we need to put up on a pedestal and glorify? He's a guy with an internet connection and a lot of time on his hands. A guy we may have loved, hated, or not even known. A guy who made some really bad choices and left a wake of destruction behind him.
(hijacked from Emmy)
It's a good reminder for all of us ... well, except Matt-Man, and maybe Jay, but the rest of us?? Yeah, we've got internet access. Big fucking deal ...
A few weeks back, in my I can See Through You post, I touched briefly on anonymous bloggers. There was one group of those bloggers that I left out (intentionally) because mentioning that group seems to get them all up in arms and their comments tend to drag the post off topic. Who is that group? The married folks who crave the attention of an affair without the "risk" of doing it in real life.
*DISCLAIMER* I was one of those people, and some might say I still am. I am not denying nor minimizing my own actions. If you are inclined to launch personal attacks on my morals, I'll just agree with you, so save your ammunition.
One of these bloggers - Southern Sage - was someone I "knew" from early on in his (and my) blogging forays. He was my first link to HNT. We had a cyber friendship that crossed "superficial" friendship boundaries. I knew he had a wife and two children, but it really didn't matter. My actions were "harmless" because I wasn't ever going to meet him, right?? Right???
Over time, that friendship fizzled. There wasn't any catastrophic event that occurred. No angry words. No ridiculous cyber drama. I still stopped by his "place" on occasion, and he stopped by mine. We just went in different directions with blogging and blogging relationships and moved on. I never really thought much about it again.
Then I heard through the grape vine that Sage had picked up and left the cyber world. Sure enough, a quick click on his blog brought up this screen:
He was gone, not only on Blogger, but on Twitter and Facebook as well. It was a pretty safe assumption that his anonymity had been compromised and he was scrambling to pick up the pieces of devastation he left behind.
That in itself is not unusual. My guess is it happens throughout the interwebs more often than many people would like to believe. The internet has a dark side - a secret world that many of us delve into where we can carry on an "affair" we'd never consider in real life as the risk is just too great. I understand it. I've been a part of it.
What bothered me were the (as Hubman so succinctly put it) "eulogies" to him. There were several women who blogged about what Sage meant to them. That he was "loyal, honest, trustworthy, caring, kind, confident, intelligent, charming and sexy as hell." Presumably these women knew the circumstances behind his departure - that his wife became aware of his on-line alter ego - and still they used words like "loyal," "honest," and "trustworthy"? How does that work? How can you be "loyal," "honest," and "trustworthy" when you are leading two very separate and distinct lives - keeping huge secrets from the one you've committed your life to?
*NOTE* I had every intention of linking to the blog posts that I came across - I don't like to use the passive-aggressive approach to blogging (unless it's a Sunday Secret) - however the bloggers involved apparently had second thoughts about their part in all of this. One of the bloggers removed her original post and one of the bloggers has now gone private.
What should have been (in my humble opinion - considering the circumstances) a quiet disappearance out of respect for Sage's wife, children and the situation he was clearly in, turned in to what can only be described as a selfish celebration - an adulation - of a man who severely compromised the integrity of his marriage. Really?
I have nothing against Sage. I would not wish this on anyone. I sincerely hope he and "The Bride" (as he called her) are somehow able to mend this tremendous breach in their marriage. As someone who has been on both sides of this issue once or twice in my life, I know their success will be the exception, but that it can be done. I wish them the best.
But really, is this someone we need to put up on a pedestal and glorify? He's a guy with an internet connection and a lot of time on his hands. A guy we may have loved, hated, or not even known. A guy who made some really bad choices and left a wake of destruction behind him.
(hijacked from Emmy)It's a good reminder for all of us ... well, except Matt-Man, and maybe Jay, but the rest of us?? Yeah, we've got internet access. Big fucking deal ...
~*~*~
