My D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Might become final today by the end of August

(Thank you Tammy Wynette)

After 4+ years of separation, husband and I finally filed for divorce in late June. We decided to use just a single attorney (splitting the cost) to expedite the process and get through it with the least financial damage possible.


Things were going well ... until they weren't ...

The divorce process includes putting the family home up for sale - short sale. We are upside down on the mortgage (by about 25% of the total loan) with no hope of keeping the home long enough for it to actually become an asset.

In fact, the only assets we have in the marriage are our respective 401Ks.

In Illinois, the "standard" is that all marital assets are split 50-50. This means that husband is entitled to half of my 401K, and I am entitled to half of his 401K. This is where things started to get a little ... let's call it difficult.

Husband's 401K is SEVEN TIMES what mine is ... well ... was seven times what mine is ... before he took out a $40,000 loan to pay for step-son's wedding and step-daughter's car, then was laid off from his job and defaulted on the 401K loan.

But Illinois doesn't care about that loan. Illinois sees that loan as a marital asset that was used to cover non-marital expenses, therefor calculates my half of the asset based on the pre-loan amount.

In other words, I was going to just about clear out what was left in husband's 401K ...

And he's still unemployed.

When he realized that was what the law stipulated, he decided to revert back to his old ways - making threats ("I'll make sure you blow all of your money on attorney fees if you decide to try to take my money!"), giving me the silent treatment, delaying the listing of the family home by refusing to provide the realtor his financial documents, and generally being the ass he was the entire time we were together.

Yesterday, he apparently decided that being a bit more rational might just get him a lot farther (further?) than being a dick-head. He's come up with a settlement number that is much closer to what truly is equitable, he's provided the realtor with the financial documentation they need to get the short-sale application to the bank, and he has decided that his "What's in the house now is mine, mine, MINE!!!" may have some flexibility ... as in he offered me the informal dining room table and chair set, a gently used sofa, and other miscellaneous household items.

We are this close to a settlement agreement.

There are a few things that I am still concerned about, like who will be responsible for the utilities should he move out of the house prior to it being sold (his plan is to move out of state in the near future), as well as other expenses we might incur during the home sale process.

Based on those concerns, I've got a counter-offer in mind - about 10% above his current number. If we can agree to that number, this ordeal should be over by the the end of the month!

*crosses fingers*

*makes a sacrifice to the Flying Spaghetti Monster*

*throws salt over my shoulder*

*burns a sage stick*