When Gated Communities Are The Bad Part Of Town

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By now, you've probably heard the story of Trayvon Martin - a 17-year old A/B student, visiting relatives in a gated community in Sanford, Florida, walking down the street with a hoodie on (it was raining) and armed with the ever threatening can of Arizona Iced Tea and a bag of Skittles.

He was gunned down by 28-year old criminal justice student George Zimmerman, the self-appointed head of the neighborhood watch at the Retreat of Twin Lakes, and the proud owner of a 9mm handgun and a concealed carry permit.

Was George Zimmerman's murder of Trayvon Martin (no, Zimmerman has not been charged, but I fail to see how a 250 lb. man with a 9mm handgun can claim "self defense" against a 140 lb. 17-year old armed with Skittles and an Arizona Ice Tea) racially motivated? I don't know, but I do know:

1) Zimmerman, a citizen, had no legal authority to follow, stop or detain anyone for being "suspicious"

2) Zimmerman, while in a vehicle, followed a teenage boy who was doing nothing more than walking on the side of the street wearing a hoodie

3) When Zimmerman called 9-1-1 to report the "suspicious" teenage boy, police dispatch told him to stop following Trayvon Martin

4) Zimmerman, willfully and intentionally, got out of the safety of his vehicle, bringing his 9mm handgun with him

5) Trayvon Martin was unarmed

6) Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin

As the parent of a black son, I know that Cam sometimes carries the burden of other people’s suspicions.  Some of you might take offense to me referring to Cam as black, but you'll have to trust me here, when people look at Cam they don't say, "Look at that half black, half white kid." Their perception is that Cam is black, therefor Cam is black.

I've had parents of Cam's friends say things like, "You know Cam, if you are standing on a street corner people automatically think you are selling drugs," and, "If you dressed more "white" people would treat you differently." I guess that means the responsibility to avoid racial stereotypes lies squarely on Cam's shoulders? That Cam should never stand on street corners and should only wear khaki cargo shorts and pastel polo shirts?

At 15, and just months after getting his driver's permit, Cam was pulled over in our predominately white community. A local police officer followed us (Cam was driving, I was the passenger) from the strip mall in town to our apartment (about 2 miles). When Cam pulled into a parking space in our lot, the police officer blocked him in. When we got out of the car, the officer demanded to see Cam's permit, but gave no reason nor justification for doing so.

My guess? It was that DWB (Driving While Black) thing we white folks hear about but tend to brush aside as those black folks having a chip on their shoulder. Similar to their demands for a Black History Month, it's just something made up - something they need to get over.

I believe it is likely that race (or, at the very least, prejudice) was a factor in Cam's being pulled over for a "permit check". I believe it is likely that race (or, at the very least, prejudice) was a factor in the murder of Trayvon Martin.

This is the reality I send my (black) son into each and every day ... and it scares the shit out of me.

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Sunday Secret

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Lessons Learned Last Night

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• The only thing keeping us from killing our kids when they turn into teenagers is the fact that we've already spent $200,000+ of the estimated $226,920 it takes to raise them through age 18
• $226,920 would buy a nice home in most areas of the United States
• It's not just your own teenager you will want to kill
• Teenagers think walking 10+ miles, on a busy highway, in the dark, wearing all black, is a responsible thing to do
• Teenagers get mouthy when you pick them up on said highway - at the 6 mile mark - and insist they get in the car
• It is difficult to drive and simultaneously strangle your teenager
• Teenagers will jump out of a moving car, when the car is traveling under 5 mph
• Some teenagers will jump out of a moving car when the car is traveling over 5 mph
• The success rate for teenagers landing on their feet when they jump out of a car traveling under 5 mph is 100% - over 5 mph 0% (your results may vary)
• Although all of your neighbors will peek out from their windows and gape from their balconies while your teenager goes on "FUCK YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" raging rant in the parking lot, they won't call the police
• They will give you "the look" the following morning
• Teenagers think they are tough punching walls in anger
• Patching drywall is a skill
• There is a special tingly feeling you get when calling the parent of a teenager who has just jumped out of your moving car, when the car was traveling over 5 mph, has a lump the size of a cutie on his head and has an elbow that looks like ground beef, to meet you at the local ER
• The ER staff will act like teenagers always jump out a moving cars when they are traveling over 5 mph
• There is nothing quite as joyful as hearing the phrase "It's just a hematoma" at 11:37 on a Tuesday night
• A hand-washed PE uniform will dry in a paper bag in a 300 degree oven(don't ask)

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