What? You thought I was kidding? Let's start with the ladies, shall we?
- A night in with the girls
- Applying lip gloss
- Auditioning the finger puppets
- Bashing the gash
- Beating around the bush
- Burying the knuckle
- Checking the status of the I/O port
- Clam bake for one
- Coaxing the turtle out of her shell
- Digitizing
- Doing something for my chapped lips
- Double-clicking your mouse
- Erasing the problem
- Fiddling the bean
- Finger-pole the hole
- Flicking the switch
- Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion
- Getting a date with slick mittens
- Getting the last pickle out of the jar
- Having sex with someone you love
- "Looking for Waldo & his dog (gee, spot, there you are!)"
- Manual override
- Menage a moi
- Opening the bottom drawer
- Parting my meat curtain
- Preheating the oven
- Producing whore moans
- Romancing thy own
- Searching for Ms. "G"
- Soaking in Palmolive
- Stiffening my upper lip
- Taking advantage of yourself
- The magical disappearing finger trick
- Wrinkling fingers
And now for the men ...
- Adjusting the antenna
- Applying the hand brake
- Badgering the witness
- Booting up the hard drive
- Choking Charlie 'till he throws up
- Cleaning the walls after an accident involving the Milk Man and the Cyclops
- Digitally oscillating one's penis
- Discharging the heat-seeking moisture missile
- Electing the president (for Matt-Man)
- Evicting the testicular squatters
- Firing the Surgeon General
- Getting a load off my mind
- Givin' the one-eyed field mouse with the purple turtle-neck sweater a hot-butter nuggie
- Gluing the lady's eye's shut (for you-know-who - I'd link you, but then everyone would know!)
- Having group sex with five friends
- Jack hammering
- Keeping the Optometrists in business
- Lighting the lava lamp
- Making special sauce with frank and beans
- Manning the cockpit
- One stop shopping
- Opening up a bottle of Squirt
- Playing five card draw with a handful of jacks
- Practicing for the big game
- Qualifying in the testicular time trial (for Doc)
- Rapid delivery
- Sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights
- Self-induced penile regurgitation
- Shooting the pump action porridge gun
- Spackling the ceiling (for Huge Tool)
- Staff meeting
- Testicular tensile strength test
- Whomping the walrus
- Zygote spraying
And my FAVORITE, number 69 (how did that happen?)
Fucking without complications
I'd love to take credit for these gems, however I cannot allow myself to plagiarize amazing talent. They were all taken from HERE, where you can also play with use The Random Masturbation Synonym Generator at your leisure!
