21 August 2012

Needy? Or Greedy?

~*~

There's a new gig in town. The politically correct call them "Personal Funding Sites". 

I call them internet tin cups.

I saw my first Pledgie on tumblr. A blogger claiming he hit hard times - couldn't buy groceries - didn't have a suitable living space to visit his daughter.

People gave.

The blogger disappeared.

I thought it was odd that people were so willing to give to a virtual friend stranger, and even more odd that they were so surprised when the guy disappeared from tumblr.

tumblr seems writhe with these types of "fundraisers". I've seen requests for everything from airfare and hotel accommodations to SNARK NYC, to requests for first/last month rent so that someone who claimed to be in an abusive relationship could move.

Lately, I've been seeing more of these "personal funding requests" on facebook and on personal blogs. Hell! I even set one up a couple of years ago for former HNT-er Boo when she lost two of her children in a house fire

I get it.

Catastrophic events happen.

Sometimes people need a little help.

I don't take issue with that.

What I do take issue with is people who use these "personal funding sites" for  less-than necessary expenses, like a tattoo or paying for a ticket so they can avoid a parole violation

What happened to saving up for for the things you want?

Or accepting the consequences for your choices?

What is this sense of entitlement that seems to be running rampant these days?

You can't finish up your tattoo because you don't have the money? I guess you'll be running around with a half-done tattoo until saving up for it becomes a priority.

Going to jail for a parole violation if you don't pay your ticket for soliciting? Guess you shouldn't have been soliciting!

We see it from famous people too - The George Zimmerman Defense Fund, and Octomom seeking donations to fund a new home.

Maybe I'd have a little more empathy if I hadn't moved out of a half-million dollar home with little more than a bed for my son, a sofa I bought before marrying husband, a futon, and 3 boxes containing plates, silverware and a few random pots and pans.

I had to get an emergency food disbursement from the local food bank because I had no money left over after paying for the moving truck. I went weeks without television or internet because I just didn't have the money to have those luxuries turned on. I shopped at Goodwill - exclusively - for 2 years.

I didn't put a PayPal link on my blog hoping y'all would bail me out. I scrapped through the tough times because the tough times were a result of my poor decisions.

That's how it works ... or should work.

Accountability. It's one of the things that keep us from making same mistake over and over again.

Of course, if I don't want to donate to a personal funding site, I don't have to. No one is forcing me to donate. It's not my place to tell other people what to do. Blah ... blah ... blah ...

I have to wonder what ever happened to qualities like pride, personal integrity, and working hard/saving for the things you want in life.

It seems these days people expect to be taken care of - to have their wants instantly fulfilled. Few people seem willing to sacrifice a little while for the bigger payoff.

Judgmental?

Hell yes, but c'mon ...

Do you ever donate money to personal funding sites? If you do, do you only donate to people you think you know?

~*~

12 comments:

Susan said...

I gave about $800 to a blogger last year. Not all at once, $50 to $100 here and there. I could afford it comfortably. She is uninsured and has had breast cancer for 11 years. My husband was leery but I do trust her story as she has been interviewed by the media. However, she may not have been as broke as she portrays - I doubt I'll ever know. I don't care because it made me feel good to give at the time. I had breast cancer and gave zero thought to expenses because of how good my insurance is.

I don't think I'd give a stranger from the internet to attend a snark conference. To me, that is very different than making a donation to someone whose house burned down.

kristi said...

I am way too proud to solicit money on the internet. If I am broke, we just eat sandwiches and stay home!

I'm With Stupid said...

I've donated to a couple of charities in the name of people participating in a walk/run thing, but not directly to a blogger or anyone like that.

As far as people who put PayPal buttons on their sidebar or do "fundraising" as long as they're honest it doesn't bother me. Like I said, I don't donate, but I'm fine with them doing it.

Also, people should be careful when they do these things. There are some people who consider those "donations" to be "income." ;-)

Jay

karen said...

I sent money a couple of times directly to bloggers, but it was unsolicited, I just knew they were in a tight spot, struggling, and not asking.

I also gave money once, a small amount, to an organization I believed in, but it was a drop in the bucket.

Finally, I gave money to a blogger, but it was solicited by a third party I would trust to the ends of the earth, and the person who received the money did not know about it before hand.

But I feel uncomfortable about being solicited by bloggers in general, I get the heebie jeebies if I see a "donate to me" button beside a post. But maybe that's just me. I hate to be asked, and would never, ever ask. I mean, don't most of us blog because we get something(s) from it that is not monetary?

Mike said...

Unless it's a well know charity I don't send money. Except that one time some blogger friend talked me into a few bucks for ....Boo.

Knight said...

I've donated to bloggers for various runs for epilepsy, cancer, and aids. I've donated to friend's sites for various theater projects. I receive those CONSTANTLY. I suppose that's what I get for knowing so many actors though. Those are real fundraisers not for personal use.

Dana said...

Susan, I agree - there are fundraisers for catastrophic events (fire, health issues, etc.) and then there are "I want this so give it to me" requests. I'll consider the former, but the latter makes me want to hurl.

kristi, right there with you!

Dana said...

Jay/I'm With Stupid, I've gone the charity route as well, but usually only if they link to the charities donation site.

How do you know if they are 'honest'? See, that's my thing. Unless I know the person well (like met them in person) I'm suspicious, and sometimes when I know them well I'm even more suspicious.

karen, I've done the same - donated without solicitation. In fact, I'd much rather go that route than feel like someone expects a donation because they've asked for one.

Dana said...

Mike, I have to admit, that whole fundraiser for Boo made me nervous. I actually verified the story before requesting donations and even paid the PayPal fees associated with the transfer of $$ to her, but I was also well aware that people would (rightly so) be cautious. If I remember correctly, we (all who donated) raised roughly $1,500, which surprised the hell out of me but was life-changing for her.

Knight, There are many of the Pledgie's and GoFundMe's that are legitimate, and from what I understand, they were originally put out there for that type of independent project funding. I'm good with that, but some of this other stuff? Not so much ...

Osbasso said...

I've given to some bloggers on occasion. Unsolicited, more often than not. And the catastrophic thing generally tugs at my heart. But I agree--it takes a total lack of pride for some of the requests I've seen.

Now if someone wanted to start one in my name to purchase me the OsTour bus, I'd be all for that!

Another Suburban Mom said...

I've given some money to bloggers, asking them to pay it forward. I've also given to charity. I however, only give to people I know well, and linked charities.





Chris said...

I think it all started with fundraisers.... It used to be that the band (or whatever) raised money for a trip by washing cars or whatever. Now, at least in Houston, they just stand on intersections with signs asking for donations! Seriously! Why work when people will give you free money?
And this is the result. I don't blame the people asking for money as much as the idiots who give it. And yes, if you're willing to give your give your hard earned money to a total stranger who may, or may not, be telling the truth, you ARE an idiot!