20 October 2007

Would you shut the F*CK up? Please??

EGADS! Day two with my mother was *FAR* worse than day one. I would guess that is because I only had to listen to my mom talk for 3 hours that first day. I'm about ready to strangle her today, and I've still got FOUR full days to go!

Let's see ... first of all she has decided I am too thin. There is NO WAY I am too thin. She tells me I am too thin at least once an hour and has not only filled my house with cakes, pies and donuts, but "encourages" me to eat them about every six minutes.

She will not shut her mouth. I found myself watching TV last night and completely tuning her out. All of a sudden I would hear, "Dana?" and I'd realize she had been talking to me for the last 15 minutes and I had no clue what she had said. I am now extremely clear on why she is not married!

Last night, we were going through some clothes (stuff I had that is too big now), and I asked my mom what size she is wearing now so that I could figure out which clothes to offer. She tells me she is wearing a size 14.

Now, I am *not* trying to be mean in any way, and you've got to understand that I have this weird body image distortion issue (I really think I look *just* like I did 70 lbs ago), but my mom's ass is about as wide as the refrigerator, and she is insisting she wears just 1 size smaller than I do? I had to ask DH last night if he thought there was any way - if I am wearing a 10/12, that my mom is wearing a size 14 'cause if that is the case, I definitely need to lose another 30 lbs. He assured me that not only is my mom in need of duct tape over her mouth, but she couldn't pull a size 14 up past her knees.

I've got to wonder what world this woman lives in, but yet I've got to do my damnedest to stay OUT of her world!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I hit your blog because I was just about to email you to find out how you are surviving the visit.

You definitely look GOOD but you don't look "too thin" by any means. I'd totally do ya. ;) Any way you can accidentally drop a bucket of water on all the junk food?

Hang in there!

Leighann said...

leave a trail of the cakes and pies out your front door and once your mom follows them out slam it shut ;)

Just your everyday average married momma... said...

Um, yea you can't be wearing that big of of a size anyhow...I've seen you and you are MUCH thinner than I. I can wear a 14 or a 16 and you are DRASTICALLY thinner than myself...however, you are also like I dunno what, about 30 feet taller than me LOL!