I probably should have pounded a few of these before yesterday's meeting, or at least brought some lube.
Yes, it was one of those IEP meetings, however I managed to walk out - 2 hours later - with exactly what I wanted.
*NOTE* Not only was it one of those IEP meetings, it is now going to be one of those posts. Some of you will want to stop reading now. Please do!
When we checked in at the office (Mike attends these meetings with me) I learned that there were several people attending the meeting who were not on the original invite (that's a BIG procedural no-no).
Although I walked in with an open mind and a good attitude, finding 8 teachers and administrators in the conference room, when I was expecting to see 3, kind of soured my good attitude.
The first part of the meeting was to decide if Cam is still eligible for special education services (his trieneal determination).
Cam has been on an IEP since he was 6. When we lived in Minnesota, he qualified for services under the "Autism" disability category. Illinois doesn't use that category, instead lumping autism (and several other disability categories) under "Other Health Impairment" (OHI). Cam has qualified for special education services under OHI for the past 9 years. This should have been routine.
All was well and good until the Education Service Specialist summarized the determination review, stating that he recommended Cam qualify for services under the Emotional Disturbance (ED) category, with OHI being secondary.
Why did this happen?
Because there were questions surrounding why Cam originally received services under the autism designation when he had never had an autism diagnosis. Because I trusted school administrative personnel when I had been told by a medical professional not to.
It was my fault.
I shared - in confidence - Cam's original diagnosis with the school social worker and the Education Service Specialist in a meeting we had in October.
When Cam was diagnosed with Aperger's, he was also diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Both diagnoses were printed on the report that I shared with the school social worker and the Education Service Specialist, and even though I was clear that I was providing the report for informational purposed only (not to be included in his permanent record), the Education Service Specialist chose to ignore my instructions.
He took one look at that ODD diagnosis and ran with it. ODD is a conduct disorder.
Kids with conduct disorders are often placed in self-contained learning environments as they are considered dangerous - their behavior is consistently troubling to others and outside of the range of what is considered normal or acceptable. Kids with conduct disorders often show little remorse, guilt, or understanding of the damage and the pain inflicted by their behavior.
This is where I needed the lube. The Education Service Specialist was fucking me right up the ass, and he wasn't even sneaky about it.
There were some terse words. I refused to accept the ED designation - Cam's behaviors do not meet the criteria for ED and I sure as hell wasn't going to allow the Education Service Specialist to focus on one component of a 10-year old diagnosis while ignoring all of the other more recent test data available.
Eventually, I won.
It wasn't pretty.
It was insightful.
My suspicions that the administration wants to outplace Cam? Confirmed.
And their plan to do so? Currently foiled.
Now ... to figure out how I'm going to keep things this way for the next 18 months ...
I have yet another meeting with Cam's school today - this one, his trieneal determination of special education eligibility.
The administration tipped their hand this time. They are usually tight-lipped - preferring to attack from the blindside - hoping parents don't have the sense to stop the plan they put in place long before you ever enter the meeting room.
They want to outplace Cam.
I will fight this.
Past experience indicates outplacement is not the educational solution for Cam.
Past experience indicates that outplacement is socially and emotionally harmful to Cam.
As fate would have it, I came across Jeff Hunter's blog, Talentism, today. Reading his 2007 post titled My Son Won't Do His Homework gave me the push I needed to fight one more fight. He writes:
But school doesn’t care, because school does not have the objective of helping my son produce the maximum amount of value in the future that he will probably encounter. School cares about ensuring that he knows how to take tests, follow directions and can do math that he will never have to care about for the rest of his life. School cares that he can either prove that he is worthy of being in the top 5% that will go on to be homogenized and brainwashed in a top-notch school so that they are almost completely without originality of thought or perspective or that he gets the hell out of the way for those kids that meet that description. School cares that he can be measured and managed, so that he will be a good little cog in a habitual big wheel.
What he says is true. You can argue with me all that you want and it will still be true.
This isn't because teachers are bad.
It is because the public school system is broken.
Shattered even.
I'm going into this meeting to fight one more fight.
I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure outplacement does not happen, even if that means declining special education services.
IEPs are supposed to be the equalizer in education. For Cam, the IEP has been used as a tool to segregate and exclude.
I can't keep giving the school a hammer and expecting them to tighten screws with it.
I'm going to take the hammer back.
- Mike is famous in Milwaukee. He insists he isn't, but everywhere we went it seemed everyone knew him.
- Aloft hotels have amazing showers, but no bathtubs. The hotel was beautiful, and we had a magnificent view from our river facing room, but next time I think we'll stay where I can get in a tub soak.
- Bloody Mary's are served with a side of beer. I mentioned this in another post, but it's worthy of repeating. It's not like you order a Bloody Mary and a beer either ... if you order a Bloody Mary, a "side" of beer is coming with it.
- Girls not only travel to the restroom together, they share a stall. Now I'm not at all modest (5 years in the Army will do that), but sharing a stall when sharing isn't required? Just caught me as a little odd.
- I am too old to drink cheap, bad beer. There were an awful lot of young'uns drinking PBR. Just EEUUWWW!
- Snow Shoots! I thought these were for trash, but Mike tells me they are for snow removal from upper level parking garages. He also tells me they dump truckloads of snow on the beaches of Lake Michigan, but I have yet to see that.
- Taking turns with the bartender,throwing a cup-full of dice, results in someone handing me a shot. I have no clue what the rules are of this game, I just know that when Mike plays I get drunk ... quick.
- I did not feel old while hanging out with Mike's friends. I was actually quite worried I be the old woman out, but discovered that Mike has a diverse group of friends, some of whom are actually my age *gasp*
- Alterra > Starbucks (or any other mass-market coffee chain). Just driving by the building borders on orgasmic as you can smell the beans roasting.
- It's never a good idea to meet new people when hungover. We got together for breakfast at the Red Dot - where you can get poutine and a drink called a C-Note (a Pearl screwdriver mixed with Emergen-C), but you can't get a milkshake - with one of Mike's good friends the day after his birthday. It was all that I could do just to make eye contact every 60 seconds or so. I'm certain they were impressed.
- Right Lane Ends signs are an invitation for a drag race. I'm one of those drivers who moves to the left lane when I know the right lane ends, and curses those drivers who stay in the right lane to get one or two cars ahead. If I held tight to that pattern in Milwaukee, I'd have been doing nothing more than cursing all weekend long.
