Half Empty Or Half Full?

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Yesterday was one of those days. One where the highs were high and the lows were low. Of course highs are usually high and lows are usually low, but it sounded good when I wrote it.

The chaos actually started Monday. We had a "situation" at work late Friday afternoon. Our payroll administrator gave her 2-week notice. Everyone knew she was retiring this year (she's been with the company 20 years), but that wasn't supposed to happen until June and the thought was that she would give at least 8-weeks notice. Instead, she decided to give back what she been given.

Understand that although I work for a company that employs more than 500 people, job openings are few and far between. People stay at my company forever and the company doesn't let anyone go - even when performance is well below acceptable. I was looking forward to the payroll administrator job vacancy - it's a job I'm qualified for and was a significant promotion.

Unfortunately, my employer didn't announce the vacancy and decided to promote the receptionist to the payroll administrator job. Yes ... the RECEPTIONIST. Now, I understand business and business decisions. I get that sometimes people who are less qualified for promotions are given them for the greater good of the company. But this decision was so "out there" that it really bothered me ... and I went to my supervisor (the CFO) Tuesday morning and voiced my frustration.

The result? I was told in a round about way to get over and get back to my job. The decision was made. That's the way the company works. Get used to it. Not what I wanted to hear but at least it clarified where I stood.

Then lunch rolled around ...

A few weeks ago I applied for a job with an employer that I've wanted to work for for quite some time. A phone interview was scheduled for yesterday at 12:30. The 20 minute phone interview extended to 35 minutes and went extremely well. I moved into round 2 of the interview process which requires I submit answer to 10 short essay questions (communication - written and verbal - is a HUGE component of this position).

This development more than made up for the disappointment of the "underhanded" promotion I just dealt with. Although I am in no way assured of getting the position, it was validation that I really don't have to just "get over" unethical treatment from my current employer - that I have skills that are valuable and desirable.

Then came the afternoon ...

I received an email from Cam's school principal - Cam was given in-school suspension (ISS) for too many office referrals. Last week he received 6 office referrals - 2 for talking/laughing in class and 4 for not doing classwork during the class period (not disrupting the class, just not doing anything while being quiet). An accumulation of 5 office referrals necessitates an ISS.

Normally, this would not be an issue, however it was the 11th day this school year that Cam has received either ISS or OSS (out of school suspension) and in the land of IEPs and special education, this is a magic number. Once a special education student has served 11 days of suspension, Federal law mandates a "Manifestation Determination" hearing be held.

In a nutshell, this is a hearing to determine if the behavior that has caused the ISS and/or OSS for 10 consecutive, or cumulative, days is a manifestation of the child's disability. This is - and isn't - a big deal. This is not a hearing in front of the board of education, but rather one held with the IEP team, but the results of the hearing (either a yes or a no) determine the next steps that must be taken, and those can be as simple as IEP modifications, or as significant as a change in school placement.

Add to that pressure a short time-frame to prepare -10 days - and I'm under the gun to perform. I've decided to handle the Manifestation Determination hearing on my own (with support from my parent advocate and Cam's neuropsych), but should the results of the hearing be "No" (the behavior is NOT a manifestation of the disability), I will appeal and I will need to hire an attorney. Not sure how I'll make that happen, but it has to.

So, how has your week been? Has the new moon phase created chaos for you?? I can blame it on the moon, right? Than I don't have to take any responsibility ...

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Guest Blogging

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If you *click* it, they will come ...

... and it's the only way you'll find me today!

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Dreamin'

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Quick little blurb before I get started. Beginning Tomorrow, and every Tuesday until she takes my privileges away, I will be posting over at Real Live Lesbian. Lynn, likely in a Sunday morning haze, offered me a weekly gig . Not to worry - no ego growth here! Lynn recently started a new job and is running a little short on blogging time. The gig gives me an opportunity to write to a different audience and will hopefully introduce you guys to some new blogs/bloggers that you might have missed.

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Dreams. I don't care what parents say, they all have them for their child(ren). Sure, you'll hear a lot of, "I don't care what he does or who he loves, I just want him to be happy," but guess what? They're lying ...

Here's the deal. As parents, we do want our children to be happy, but we want them to be happy by our standards. What I mean when I say "I don't care what he does or who he loves, I just want him to be happy," is really, "I don't care what Cam does (when he finishes his bachelor's degree) or who he loves (that will always treat him with dignity and respect), I just want him to be happy (meeting my personal and professional expectations)."

With this latest round of neuropsych testing, and some great discussions with a couple of people that I served with at the food bank (a husband/wife team - husband is the principal at the county juvenile detention center - wife works in administration for a technical trade school) I realized that it was time for me to come to terms with the idea that Cam might not follow a "traditional" educational path.

Don't get me wrong, I expect him to do his best in whatever path he follows, but I had a moment this weekend where I realized that his best might not (and should not) equate to my best.

I think as parents we all want our kids to do better than we did. In my case that means I want Cam to go to college after he completes high school rather than "wasting" his life, waiting until he is 42 to complete a college degree (like I did).

But what if that is not Cam's dream? What if Cam just isn't ready to make the transition to college out of high school? Is it right for me to bombard him with my expectations, thus setting him up for failure?

Yes, Cam needs nurturing and direction. But I think, more than that, Cam needs to see there are choices. My job as a parent is to insure he has the skills to make good choices (the best ones for him), and the skills to recover from the bad choices he will inevitably make.

It's difficult to let go of those parental dreams - to come to terms with the fact that a child might not do what you think is best for them but rather what they think is best for themselves - and to then truly support their dreams.

Damn teenagers ...

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