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Last week I wrote a post on creative punishments - in short, praising parents who resort to public humiliation of their children in an attempt to get them in line. No, I don't think this is a form of punishment that should be used regularly, but I see no issue with it being used sparingly and as a consequence to the equally severe actions of kids.
There were a handful of nay-sayers to my post, and I'm not surprised. Being PTO president, I am exposed to a number of parents who would never dream of making their kids an example. Actually, they wouldn't have the time to make an example of their children because they spend all of their waking hours making excuses for them, "fighting" their battles for them and yes, even doing their homework for them.
It starts in elementary school, but becomes problematic in middle school - when kids should be learning how to make decisions rather than having them made for them. When learning that there is accountability for poor choices is critical.
Hello? You're hovering. You realize that, right? No ... you probably don't. The media, pediatricians, psychologists and even the college deans call it call it helicopter parenting. I call it raising a generation of kids who have never been given the critical life skills of decision making and problem solving.
Seriously people, you are obsessed with your children. You treat them like little princes and princesses - they are No. 1, MVPs, gifted - and a pain in my ass. You've diligently planned their lives from Baby Einstein videos and their first play date, to their first day of college. You shuttle them from soccer practice, to piano lessons, to karate, and, because they will attend only the best college and must have high SAT scores, to Language Stars Classes before they've mastered English.
You artificially inflate their egos. You give them graduation ceremonies from preschool. You give them a trophy at the end of the season even when they lose. You petition your school to stop correcting papers in red ink because it's makes your kid uncomfortable and hurts their feelings.
They "own" the latest and greatest gaming platforms, have laptops and televisions in their bedrooms and have never had to do a single chore. They have MySpace pages and unlimited texting packages on their cell phones - all before they hit double digit birthdays.
Your kids are not leaded crystal, but if you aren't careful, they may very well shatter. You are coddling and protecting your children to a degree that threatens their ability to, later in life, make good decisions on their own. They do not know how to advocate for themselves because they don't have to. Not only that, but they are learning that they can screw up - royally - and someone will bail them out. There are no consequences for their actions.
Sure, you are trying to create really great kids, but instead you are creating the perception of really great kid kids - they look good from the outside, but when left to fend for themselves, are complete failures.
A few words of wisdom? You aren't supposed to be your kids' best friend, you are supposed to be their parent. If you've never heard, "I hate you!" you are most definitely doing something wrong.
There were a handful of nay-sayers to my post, and I'm not surprised. Being PTO president, I am exposed to a number of parents who would never dream of making their kids an example. Actually, they wouldn't have the time to make an example of their children because they spend all of their waking hours making excuses for them, "fighting" their battles for them and yes, even doing their homework for them.
It starts in elementary school, but becomes problematic in middle school - when kids should be learning how to make decisions rather than having them made for them. When learning that there is accountability for poor choices is critical.
Hello? You're hovering. You realize that, right? No ... you probably don't. The media, pediatricians, psychologists and even the college deans call it call it helicopter parenting. I call it raising a generation of kids who have never been given the critical life skills of decision making and problem solving.
Seriously people, you are obsessed with your children. You treat them like little princes and princesses - they are No. 1, MVPs, gifted - and a pain in my ass. You've diligently planned their lives from Baby Einstein videos and their first play date, to their first day of college. You shuttle them from soccer practice, to piano lessons, to karate, and, because they will attend only the best college and must have high SAT scores, to Language Stars Classes before they've mastered English.
You artificially inflate their egos. You give them graduation ceremonies from preschool. You give them a trophy at the end of the season even when they lose. You petition your school to stop correcting papers in red ink because it's makes your kid uncomfortable and hurts their feelings.They "own" the latest and greatest gaming platforms, have laptops and televisions in their bedrooms and have never had to do a single chore. They have MySpace pages and unlimited texting packages on their cell phones - all before they hit double digit birthdays.
Your kids are not leaded crystal, but if you aren't careful, they may very well shatter. You are coddling and protecting your children to a degree that threatens their ability to, later in life, make good decisions on their own. They do not know how to advocate for themselves because they don't have to. Not only that, but they are learning that they can screw up - royally - and someone will bail them out. There are no consequences for their actions.
Sure, you are trying to create really great kids, but instead you are creating the perception of really great kid kids - they look good from the outside, but when left to fend for themselves, are complete failures.
A few words of wisdom? You aren't supposed to be your kids' best friend, you are supposed to be their parent. If you've never heard, "I hate you!" you are most definitely doing something wrong.
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