Dear 'Ex'-husband,

~*~

Gizmo

Against my better judgement, I agreed to take care of "your" cats while you are on vacation for nine days. You remember ... the cats you wouldn't allow me to take? The two (Gizmo and Tessa) that were mine for the three years before I left you and the one (Curly) that you had to have just a few months before I left you?

I was disturbed to learn that Curly, one of the cats you had to have, is now locked up in the laundry room because you never bothered to have him neutered and he "marks his territory" throughout the house.

Tessa

I decided that Curly shouldn't be punished for your bad pet-owner behavior, so I made an appointment to have him neutered while you were on vacation.

I understand that you are so busy and important that you haven't been able to find the time to take him in to have it done over the past three years, and that your 6-figure income makes budgeting for such a procedure ($50 at the Humane Society) impossible. So I figured I'd do you a favor.

I thought I should probably let you know ... since Curly is "your" cat, so I did the responsible thing and texted you.

Silly me! I thought you'd be thrilled that it was finally being done and all you would need to do is reimburse me the $50 when you get back from vacation.

Instead you responded to my test telling me that Curly is behind on his shots too, and you cannot afford get his shots, let alone pay to have him neutered.

I have no doubt that you sent that text while having lunch (and a few margaritas) along the River Walk in San Antonio, where you just drove (in the 2012 Dodge Charger you recently purchased that you bragged got 25 miles/gallon on the trip) to spend nine days relaxing, sight-seeing, and enjoying your family.

If there was a doubt in my mind (and there wasn't), this latest antic reinforced that you are still an idiot. I'm supposed to buy that you are on a nine day vacation in San Antonio, but you cannot afford a $50 vet bill? Really? Do you honestly think I am that obtuse??

On second thought, don't answer that.

I did sell my home, leave my career with a Fortune 500 company, and move both my son and I 500 miles to pursue what turned out to be a physically, verbally, financially and emotionally abusive relationship with you.

Let me take care of that vet bill.

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Pussy Tales

See this? This is Tessa. She may look like a cat to the average human being, but she believes she is a queen and deserves nothing but the best life has to offer. Tessa is quite the verbal cat as well - howling when someone is behind a closed door, or when they have the audacity to walk by her without scratching her belly. Tessa was adopted from a "no kill" shelter about 2 years ago. I think she may have forgotten her humble beginnings.

As many of you know, we are headed to San Antonio, Texas on Sunday. We will be returning the following Saturday (6 night trip). I was fine with leaving Tessa here at the house with a self feeder and waterer. But noooo! Not the queen! You see, not only does Tessa know she's the queen, husband believes she is the top pussy in the house. We can't possibly leave Tessa alone for 6 nights. Tessa needs a vacation. What? A vacation?? I would be crushed if anything happened to Tessa, but she is a cat for goodness sakes!

Welcome to Kountry Kennels Pet Resort & Spa. A state-of-the art, HEPA filtered, octagon cat room which has been built with love and the most advanced technology in cat boarding. Yeah - I lost that argument.



But wait! We can have Tessa boarded there in what they call the Cat Apartments; 2- ½’ length, width and height, bedding provided, catnip toy treats, separate/private area for litter, $12.00/night. Perfect!

Not when you can have the Cat Condo; 7’ tall by 2½’ wide & long, multi-levels, view of 650 gallon fish tank, view of play area, cushy bedding provided, catnip toy treats, separate/private area for litter, $20.00/night. OK, I can live with that, but I think it's a bit steep for a cat.

Ha! What was I thinking?? Yes, there is a Cat Hi-Rise; 7' in height by 6’ in width by 3’ in length, multi-levels, view of 650 gallon fish tank, view of play area, cushy bedding provided, catnip toy treats, separate/private area for litter, bird watching from private window all for the bargain price of $30.00/night. You can't be serious? You are?!

Not only that, but husband has decided that Tessa should have a Kitty Kocktail each night before bed. For just $2.00 a pop, she'll be served a generous scoop of tuna, sprinkled with flavorful pounce treats. Trust me, that's more than I will be getting the entire trip!

Thank goodness we don't have a dog or we'd have been out $60.00/night for the NASCAR Suite ... and no ... I'm not kidding!

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