After The Secret

I've been kind of tight-lipped when it comes to Cam these days, mostly because I'm a bit ashamed of what has been going on. I cannot seem to let go of feeling ultra responsible for everything he does - of getting stuck in the "bad parents raise bad kids" loop.

I'm also leery of being judged here. Not because I don't deserve it, but because I already judge myself so harshly. I'm not sure that opening things up here and inviting more criticism is in my best interest emotionally.

That said, Sunday's secret needs a little splainin' ...

Back in May, at the very end of the school year, Cam and another student were involved in an altercation. Cam was not the instigator, but he was a participant.

Like many schools, our high school has a School Resource Officer (SRO) who works full-time at the school. In theory, the main goal of the SRO is to prevent juvenile delinquency by promoting positive relations between youth and law enforcement.

In practice, the SRO at Cam's high school has done little more than reinforce the idea that cops are assholes just looking for an opportunity to show how small their penis is be the tough guy on campus.

In addition to being suspended for 3-days, Cam was charged with Disorderly Conduct (about 100 of these charges are handed out by the SRO each school year in a school that has about 600 students).

As it was a first offense, Cam's case bypassed the court and was handled by a probation officer. It took a few months for Cam's case to be processed, but in August, he was given 6-months probation for the offense, the only stipulations of his probation being that he go to school and keep out of trouble. There was no credit for "time served", leaving his probation in effect until mid February.

December 13th, Cam was involved in what I can only describe as a territorial (lunch room) pissing match between two 16-year old friends that lasted all of 7 seconds (I watched the video) and did NOT result in injury to either of them. It was something that, had it happened on the football field instead of the lunch room, would have been encouraged.

That event turned into a 4-day suspension (during review week for finals), and the SRO filed Battery and Disorderly Conducted charges against Cam. Because Cam was on probation, the county has referred his case to the State's Attorney for prosecution.

If that wasn't bad enough, the school is now doing everything within their power to remove Cam from the school and place him in a self-contained behavior disorder program even though this was NOT an expellable offense.

Bottom line? I don't know what is going to happen. I've contacted an attorney for the criminal charges, and am looking for an attorney for the educational issues (does anyone know an education attorney willing to work Pro Bono?), but I just don't know how things will turn out.

We have a meeting with the school on Monday, January 7th to address the educational side of things - a meeting that will likely be postponed because the school seems to think they don't have to follow Federal Regulations that require Prior Written Notice for placement decisions.

I should hear from the State's Attorney's office within the next couple of weeks with a court date.

This has put a bit of a damper on the holiday season.

Instead of buying a ton of gifts, or spending my Christmas money on myself, money went into my savings account to cover Cam's likely legal fees.

Unless the charges are dropped.

I'm not counting on that.