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I worked with Donna just short of 5 years. I saw her every work day. She was part of the accounting department.
I knew a little about her personal life. I remember when her husband was first diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease. Occasionally she'd talk about her granddaughters, who are Cam's age, and attend school in the same district as Cam.
But I never met any of her family, and we never did anything together outside of work. In fact, we never did anything together during work hours. In my mind, we were friendly work acquaintances, not friends.
The wake for her husband was yesterday. The funeral is today. Several of my coworkers dropped by the wake last night. A handful will be attending the funeral today.
I'm not attending either event.
I was told that I am being selfish and rude. I think doing things out of obligation, rather than doing things because you truly want to, is far more selfish and rude.
And really? I don't get whole visitation/funeral/burial thing anyway - is all of this really necessary?
VISITATION - Monday October 15, 2012 from 3 p.m.- 9 p.m.
FUNERAL - Tuesday he will be Lying In State from 10 a.m. - 11 a.m. at ST. MARGARET MARY CHURCH
MASS - 11 a.m.
INTERMENT - St. Michael CemeteryWhen I die? This will be the mandatory dress code ... with shorts *cough*JAY*cough*
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There will be an open bar, great food, and music from the hair bands of the 80's.
It will be the best party that I never attended.
I don't want people to remember my death, paying their respects posthumously and out of obligation, I want a damn CELEBRATION!
Who's coming?
7 comments:
People handle death so many different ways I've learned never to be suprised at whatever arrangements are going on.
Don't worry Dana. When you die we're gonna throw the biggest internet party in the history of the world. All in your honor, of course. ;-)
Jay
Mike, so my "let's get drunk and party" funeral wouldn't come as a surprise? DAMN!
I'm With Stupid/Jay, Thank you!! Wait a minute ... maybe that isn't a good thing *furrows brow*
Wakes are for the people left behind. Wakes are about comforting the living, the people who have lost.
My in-laws did not feel obligated to attend my mother's funeral. I guess they weren't being selfish and rude? *shrugs*
There was a person I had only met a month before mom passed away who came, gave her sympathies and left. I guess it took about an extra 20 to 30 minutes of her life. It meant the world to me.
Sujomi, Sooooo ... you're saying I'm being selfish and rude?? ;)
As an HR person I end up going to a lot of funerals, and I can tell you, that I have yet to have someone not be grateful that I showed up at the funeral.
If someone needs to stay at the office and hold down the fort, use that as an excuse.
Otherwise, go and offer your condolences. You never know when it means something to someone.
Heck, I'll even try to find the OsShirt to wear to yours!
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