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I suck at making decisions quickly.
Well, that's not entirely true ...
White or wheat? Wheat, unless I'm ordering a BLT, then white.
Plastic or paper? Plastic, unless I'm at Woodman's with my reusable green bags, or at the market in town where the paper bags have handles.
Those are the types of decisions that I can make quickly. I can make them quickly because I've made them before, I've learned through trial and error what works and what doesn't, and the wrong decision impacts only me (Have you ever eaten a BLT on wheat? YUCK! Just YUCK!!).
When it comes to bigger decisions - ones I've never made - ones that impact other people (specifically those few I hold close in my heart) - I am all about gathering information ... and gathering information ... and sorting data ... and sorting data ... and? I usually get stuck there. The information and data is so dependable - so comfortable - so warm and fuzzy (SHUDDUP! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy!) that I tend to wallow in it ... and take forever to make decisions.
How long did I live in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with husband before I finally decided to leave? Case in point.
And if I make a big decision without my extensive information gathering and data sorting? I spend months mulling that decision in my head - questioning if it was the right one - ready to flip the switch and change the decision - until the decision proves itself worthy.
I've been gathering information and sorting data regarding Cam's educational placement. My gut tells me homeschooling (or un-schooling) supplemented with fine arts, physical education, and elective classes at the public high school, is my best option.
But what if I'm wrong? The wrong decision here has the potential to be life altering, not for me, but for Cam.
So I did what any rational person would do - I sent an email to Penelope Trunk (founder of Brazen Careerist whose career advice runs in 200 newspapers and who is now homeschooling) titled 7 Reasons You Should Help Me Decide To Homeschool, because if I didn't give the email a catchy subject and relevant content, I figured she'd never read it, let alone answer it.
Okay, let's be honest, I figured there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell she'd read it no matter what the subject was, and an even slimmer chance she would actually respond.
Why Penelope Trunk? Because I've been reading her for years (since July of 2010). She has Aspergers. I identify with how she thinks. But she is far better at making BIG decisions quickly than I am. So what if the reason she easily makes big decisions is due to poor executive function, she is at least able to make them!
And it never hurts to send strangers (even popular ones) email, does it? If it gets ignored it's just a reminder of how significant you are in the world, and we could all use a bit of humble pie on occasion.
Within an hour of sending my crafty email, she responded:
I needed that validation.take your son out and then work with him to figure out how his days are with you at work.that's what i did. i started homeschooling with absolutely no idea how i'd do it but i knew there was no way i would be worse than our rural school.it's okay to have no idea what you're doing for the first six months. i wish i had known that.i can tell from your email that you'll do fine. really.my son with aspergers is so grateful to be out of school. and i have aspergers and i wish so much that someone had let me stay home.i hope this helps. you can email again. i'm happy to help more if i can.
Today's meeting with the school Social Worker and the Education Service Specialist for the high school was all about what placement options are available for Cam. It was information gathering.
Most of the placement options were unacceptable.
I let them know that I consider homeschooling (or un-schooling) supplemented with fine arts, physical education, and elective classes at the public high school as a very viable option.
They were not supportive.
I didn't expect them to be.
Soon, I'll actually have to make that decision, and I feel a little more confident that if I make the decision to homeschool, it won't be the end of the world.
In fact, it just might be the beginning of a brighter world for Cam.
7 comments:
Although I don't homeschool my son, I stumbled on this section of the Pioneer Woman blog some time ago and thought it might have some good resources for you. Good luck! http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/
There is a whole home schooling network out there. But it's based on anti public school, not what's best for your kid. So be careful your not getting information from conspiracy theorists. Stick with PT.
Dana, I struggled last year (9th grade) trying to decide what to do with my exceptionally bright but struggling (read as board, anxious and oppositional) daughter. By the last trimester of last year I had decided that what I thought we should do is give her a blended schedule, some home/online classes and some in the school building. The school staff reacted more confused as to how to make that work than opposed to it in general. She now has a 504 that states that she can take some of her classes on line and some in the building. She takes English, US History and Physical education (don't laugh...i am either the best or worst mom EVER.) on line (@ Michigan Virtual High School) and goes to school in the building for Chemistry and Algebra II at noon. I have no idea if I am doing the “right” thing, as parents I don't think we ever really get to know that. But what I do know was the way school was going for her was absolutely not working for my child at ALL. And I can tell you she is doing much better with this arrangement all the way around. I wish you guys MUCH luck, I look forward to reading where you go from here.
jlhpisces, thanks for the link. If there is one thing I've learned it's that there is TONS of homeschooling information available on the internet. Sorting through it now!
Mike, there are MANY homeschooling networks out there. My plan is to NOT be one of those networks, but to instead find something that works for Cam.
Sunday, that is exactly the type of schedule I'm looking at for Cam. Hopefully my school district will be as accommodating as yours.
I don't know if it's just me, but you asked for 7 reasons, and she only replied with 6.. or you only put 6 of the reasons she gave you on your blog.. You know, for continuity's sake you should at least keep the numbers right!
Homeschooling is a great idea, but the greatest difficulty I have had with it is being able to afford it on one income. For me, it's just not a viable option.
Dana, I'm delurking to tell you that maybe one of the most important points (in my opinion) that Trunk says is that first 6 months and not "knowing" what you are doing. I am the opposite of you, most of the time. I make decisions based on instinct and often not enough research.
Last year I pulled my kids from school. The school was not doing right by them (or anyone) but mostly I was just watching the two of them wilt in the face of their classes, teachers and a system that is not set up to allow people the room to excel, particularly if they have a quirk.
I was one such kid, and continue to struggle as a 45 year old. I was at the top of my class, but because I was inquisitive, and didn't hold back when I thought things were inappropriate, wrong, or whatever, I was not a prized student. I was always aware of that.
So I pulled my kids.
And a year later, we school/unschool/whatever, and I know that they are benefiting from the lack of stress. And that when we do a project, they put their all into it. And that as time marches on and they get bored, they seek out things they want/need to learn.
Being child-led is an amazing journey. And I'm not talking about spoiling kids, but truly listening to them about themselves.
Here's the irony, also a child-led experience. My third child, a boy, hit kindergarten age this year. Being that K is now an all day thing in my province, I defaulted to keeping him home for homeschool too. The year began in September, and he was miserable and sad and frustrated. I believe that, unlike my girls, he desperately needs the social interactions right now on a daily basis, party because there is no kid exactly close to his age (the girls and 2.5 and 4 years older and GIRLS) and partly because he is so bloody active and social.
So we've signed him up, and we take him to the local school for kindergarten. And he's happy, and more agreeable than he had been all summer.
Good luck with your decision. It is, of course, like all others. With its ups and downs (no matter how you dice it, you take on more responsibility yourself ... when people say "good for you" to me about homeschooling my kids I'm, like, "uh, perhaps not good for ME ..." In many ways that is true. But seeing the kids blossom and learn at home is a payback for not furthering my own personal development in the way I thought I would by now is good for me too, just not in the ways I expected (like getting to go to the bathroom uninterrupted.
Okay. I'll go back to lurking now. I think I've written enough here to make up for all the times when I haven't commented. Best wishes with your decision.
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