3 Keys To Minimize Group Drama

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Via tsukasa chronicles

I've spent the better part of the last two weeks cleaning up a mess - a mess that wasn't mine.

In all fairness, I didn't have to clean up the mess. I could have walked away. I could have left it for other people to clean up. Or I could have just stepped back and watched the likely implosion of something I've put a lot of time in to, but I didn't.

I am sometimes loyal (or is it co-dependent?) to a fault. This was one of those times.

I did, however, learn a few lessons and gain some insight.

(1) I should trust my instincts. They may not always be spot-on, but they are usually a pretty good indicator of future performance. I saw this mess coming at least 6 months ago, but didn't realize the full impact it would have should it turn bad. My instincts seldom let me down, especially when they are accompanied by logic and life experience.

(2) Transparency and communication are key in any large-group project. One person was allowed to manipulate the well-being of the large group. A few of us had bits and pieces of information that - had we made the effort to put them together - may have prevented the mess, or at least minimized its impact.

(3) The difference between loyalty and co-dependency is clear, consistently enforced boundaries. When there are no clear, consistently enforced boundaries, everyone gets caught up in the chaos and drama, and it becomes a group problem rather than the individual's problem.

This mess is in no way completely cleaned up. It will take some time, and there will likely be bits of trash found, hiding in cracks and crevices, for months ahead. 

Will the long-term results be worth the work it took to clean up the mess? I don't know, but at least now I've armed myself with an emotional hazmat suit to wear during the remainder of the clean-up.

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