Many of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that my 12-year old son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when he was 6. In many ways his diagnosis was a relief. I always felt my son was just a little bit quirky but could now see that he was having great difficulty fitting in at school. Having something to call it made it real, and meant it could be fixed, right?Understand that I really believed I had the only baby who got more fussy when he was held, yet if I wrapped him up tight in a baby blanket and placed him on the floor, he would stop crying. Most babies needed quite to sleep - the smallest sounds waking them up. Mine? One day when nothing was remotely coming close to soothing his crying fit, and I couldn't take the persistent noise any longer, I decided to vacuum to cover up the sound of the crying. He immediately fell asleep. It seemed my baby found loud, continuous and predictable sounds soothing.
As a toddler, little things would set him off into huge meltdowns. A seam on the toe a sock (he often went without socks even during Minnesota winters) a tag on the back of a shirt (if I didn't cut them out immediately he would pull on them until he ripped the shirt) or a different route home from the grocery store. Any of these things could be cause for my 2 year old to throw himself violently on the ground and start banging his head.
The daycare told me he was dangerous to other kids. They told me he had behavioral issues - he would sit in a corner and rock for hours - likely because I was a single mom with a lack of proper parenting skills. They told me if he didn't potty train before he was 3 they were going to have to ask me to remove him from the daycare as he was so much bigger than the other kids his age and was posing a physical danger.
Sometimes, during these very lonely and tiring days, we'd go to the local home improvement store and watch ceiling fans. I could put him in a shopping cart on his back and he would watch the fans spinning around and around until he fell asleep.
When he started school at 4, he had a terribly difficult time. The transition to a new school - a new after school care program - left him withdrawn and angry. As time went on and he adjusted to the changes, he began to blossom. He had a gift for music and at 4, could play back simple tunes on the piano that he had just heard on the radio. He had a fascination with numbers and patterns and could easily pick out what the next object should be even in a long series of items. There were still problems. A thunder storm, a need to stay inside for recess due to rain or a child missing from class could again be cause for a melt-down. Often he would hide under a desk, refusing to come out. His teachers were at a loss.
Due to the limitations of the Magnet School he was attending (it was pre-K and kindergarten only), he had to start yet another school in first grade. This was our neighborhood school. We spent much time there before he started school in hopes he would be comfortable and transition more smoothly. He didn't. The elementary school had a student enrollment of over 900. He was overwhelmed by the relative chaos of the daily school activities. His performance and behavior began declining rapidly. Within months the school had contacted me requesting he be evaluated for Special Education services.
I had an independent evaluation done at the same time the school conducted their educational evaluation - both resulted in the same findings - Autism Spectrum Disorder, specifically Asperger's Syndrome.
It's been very much a roller-coaster ride since the first days of his life. At 12, he's an incredibly bright young man who consistently scores above the 90th percentile on tests, yet he's failing 3 of his 8 classes. For the most part, he can now look at people when speaking to them, but if he gets flustered he just shuts down. In addition to his piano/keyboarding skills that are self taught, he started playing the oboe in 5th grade. He continues to have an affinity and natural talent for music. He can look at a car going the other direction on the tollway at 85 mph and tell you the year, make and model with amazing accuracy. Most of the time, he can even tell you engine size, torque and horsepower. He plays catcher in baseball and has the ability to focus so intently on the pitched ball that seldom does a ball pass him. I still cut the tags out of his shirts, he still refuses to wear socks and he can still watch a ceiling fan for hours. I might be a bit biased, but I think he really is a neat kid! He cannot (and should not) be "fixed", but he should be understood and supported in any way I can.
April is National Autism Awareness Month. I am not one who usually asks people to support a cause - to click on a link - but this is quite personal to me. Chevy is partnering with Autism Speaks to help create awareness of autism and the effects it has on our families. If you have a few minutes, please visit Help Chevy Help Autism and watch the short virtual tour of the new Chevy Malibu. Chevy is donating to Autism Speaks for each viewing of the video. It's one small click that can make a big difference for autism and for those of us whose lives it touches daily.
