Just in case you've forgotten the song, I thought I'd refresh your 80's memory!
Yes, it's the final countdown to my return to work. It was just three short months ago (my, time flies when your having fun) that I was told I wasn't a good "fit" for my employer. Well, FUCK your fit! I had a lovely, all expense paid, three month holiday break and vacation and I'm actually ready to go back to work now - at least for the first few days ...
So, I've got five days to blog to my heart's content, but am not sure what to blog about. My brain is filled with random thoughts such as these:
- 53 different ways to say masturbate without actually saying it
- Why the New York Times published a reprehensible story titled, Across America, Deadly Echoes of Foreign Battles that indicates veteran's are committing more violent crimes than the general population
- Are we really going to throw money at our economy, in the form of tax rebates, to people who don't even make enough money to have actually paid taxes?
- Will my husband ever discover my blog or should I start a weekly erotica post?
What's a old woman girl to do?
Then there is this recent story posted on Real Live Lesbian's blog regarding her attempted suicide. Not only was this an amazingly written, insightful story, but it was also one that brought face to face with place I hadn't regularly visited in 18 years - the "survival" of my husband's suicide. RLL has encouraged me to share my story, but I have apprehensions.
First, I'm not so sure the story would be of value to those who read this blog. It's certainly not an entertaining story, and it will be a difficult one to tell. Like RLL, I've never really said much about it to anyone other than, "My first husband committed suicide." when they ask if I got divorced. For some reason that response usually halts any further questions on the topic.
Second, and most important to me, the story is very dark, disturbing and violent. Now, I know that some of my Sunday Secrets have that same tone, but they are just one or two sentence snippets that can be read and filed away fairly quickly. I don't think this story will be as easy to toss aside, and I don't want to lose the handful of readers I have by discussing something as difficult as suicide. Yes, I realize that RLL did not lose readers, however she was a pioneer - I'm just following along on her shirt tails.
I'm looking for your honest input here. Is this a story that needs to be told/heard, or should I work on 52 additional euphemisms for "Helping put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college?"
